Thursday, April 4, 2013

End of Life...

 I called my father to ask about a procedure in a government office. He was at a funeral. One  kid of our relative has done suicide since his exam paper was not as per his expectations. I was in thoughts.
Why do people end their lives?
Obviously one point is the lack of communication. People may not find somebody else to communicate and this lonely feeling may create the problem worse. Long back, when I used to stay with room-mates, one of my mates, was failed in her Post Graduation Examination. She was the first class holder throughout all her schooling and college life. However, somehow she failed in a subject while pursuing her Master’s degree. Her parents, kept on abusing and accusing her so much that she was just depressed for so long. She didn’t talk with them for many days. Here, she was the most hurt person. It was her career and the person who had only seen above 60% marks in all her life  in her report card, would definitely be broken by seeing a “F” in report card. In this scenario, her family should have understand her and motivate her for further studies. In such situation, somebody is with me and understands my situation, this feeling matters so much.  I was very new in the room, just a week old and hence we were not that much “friends” and my rummy didn’t listen to me at all. I got to know all this just because I was present when she got call from her mother once. Whenever I tried to talk to her regarding this, she changed the topic or just went away. Because of her parent’s wrong behavior she gave up, today also after years, she had not finished with her post-graduation.
  Other point may be lack of trust and the faith. Will the person I have, whom I can communicate to, able to understand my problem and it’s intensity? Most of the time, people find this difficult. I mean there are people with whom the person in bad situation can share the problem and thoughts but the person don’t have that trust or bond between them. I remember, my maid had told me once the incident. She had miscarriage with her second child. She was so depressed that she was not able to face her husband and her in-laws. She lied to them for many days. Well, whatever may be the other things, but point was she was the person who was most hurt by her miscarriage… physically and mentally. But according to her there was nobody who would understand her, not even her husband, with whom, she came to this new family.
Well, today she is happy with her husband and her only daughter, staying away with her in-laws. She said, now her husband could understand her and her situation since he is independent person with independent identity.  They have to do lots of work, she has to do these house hold chores at others house to earn extra income, which prior she didn’t had to. But now she has that bond of trust in her family, even with her in-laws who visit her home occasionally. 
Third point may be the combination of both of above. First may be I don’t think I have somebody I can talk to and others who I have, they don’t understand me.  This feeling may lead to worst results if not handled correctly on time. Some time back, my co-worker ended her life by a suicide. I think, this may be the case with her.  She was friendly with people but never shared her sorrows. We have to understand first that Life is very beautiful, but most of the times we are so much into our problems in the life that we can’t see the happiness and joyous part of the life. I had called my mother when I was upset about my co-workers incident. She motivated me as she does always. But now, problem is my mother keeps me saying, “Beta, don’t take tension, don’t be stressed out”, even if I tell her, I have some data to be presented in meeting at work place, I will talk to her later. I yell at her, I am not stressing out, I know, everything will be fine. I later realize, all this is because she is so much worried about me after hearing my co-workers incident. I needed to convince her. I told mother, Mother don’t worry, I will never ever thought of suicide, no matter how many problems I may have in life. I am just not that type of person. I Love my life and I know, life has a lots of things to give back to me. You know Mummy, Dudh fatne se wo log ghabra jaate hai, jinhe Paneer banana nahi aata. ( Those people gets afraid in life, after spoiling milk, who don’t know, how to make Paneer out of it). And Mummy, I know, how to make Panneer.  :) My mother laughed. Finally, she was convinced. 

We should value our life, we should enjoy life, in all its forms. If I am in difficult situation now, that's not the end, just enjoy the phase. Later we will be remembering the phase with a smiling face. We should always have people to whom we talk to, share things.  Sometimes, we should also have backup of them. If I can't talk this problem with my mother, I should have some friend to talk to and such like that. Most of the times, we get solutions to the problems only by talking and sharing. Again, as I have told earlier, we can share happy things with anybody, even a stranger but to share a problem we need our very own somebody special. So... keep making special people special... :)


Indian Thoughts said...

one of my friend once told me, "suicide is permanent solution for temporary problem", this struck with me forever...

Saving Savy Pinkey said...

Very true.
My cousin had done this unfortunate thing and when she was taken to the hospital and she was living her last moments, her words were please save me, I want to live.... and everybody was helpless and nobody could save her.

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