Sunday, June 25, 2017

When I turn "Love Guru"

One of friends called up. After initial "hi, hello" I realized the change in her voice tone. On asking she started crying. She had a fight with her husband over their daughter and then fight got uglier. They said harsh words to each other, then her in-laws jumped in between and the things went upto the "D-word".
Well, I did calm her down and convinced that it was just regular normal fight and her husband didn't mean that. It was just his anger speaking. She too accepted that in the heat of moment she too spoke ill about him and the words that she'd not have spoken. I advised her to get the sweets/ice-cream for everybody in the family while returning home from workplace that day and behave normal. I made her realize that her husband started argument for betterment of their daughter so that was the positive side. And arguments and fights do happen normally. Well, yes the word "Divorce" was used first time by her husband in the arguments made her lose the control and everything was mess. Well, off course I didn't tell her anything but here in my blog post I can let my heart out open. It was the mother of her husband who started with "separation" idea in the argument and then it was picked up by her husband. I mean, seriously? Why these parents do all this wedding drama if all they want is to get their son back as bachelor? I totally can relate to a mother's insecurity when her son gets married and an another woman - aka his wife will be in charge of his son's life. (My son is just 3 years old now but I do see change in my own behavior with one of his "girl" friends. I can totally understand a sons mother's situation.) But how many years, dude? She is married for last 10 years and still all this was going on? I hate but I do have encounters with lawyers and this is so common in the recent years in India. I hear such cases so many times. Solution? Off course, if your bond is strong, nothing can come in your way. But if your relationship is not that strong, there is no point.

This said, I remember another incident where I was again asked to act the role of "Love-Guru" in our friends group. In that case, my friend liked someone and she wanted to get to know him to proceed in relationship. But her problem was the person had built a big wall around his heart and he wouldn't let anyone in. He was not just ready to communicate.  She sometimes felt that he wanted her to proceed but they were not even good friends to take the relationship to next level yet. As per my friend, he would just shut her off whenever she wanted to start conversation. Now there were problems between them many times just because of the single fact reason that there was no communication between them. So my advice to my friend was to try to get inside the wall of the person first which was the toughest task. There must be a good valid reason the person is tough on outer side. We need a lot of patience and love to show to such people and need some time to convince them that we are not going to hurt them and they can trust us. However, we should not forget that communication is key between any relationship. Take any relationship... personal or even professional one... Haven't you observed that even at workpaces you have most of the conflicts just because of this "no-communication" thing. So, there should be communication and it plays the most important role in the beginning of any relationship. If you don't communicate, how are you supposed to understand the other person?

Alright, here comes a business idea.... I can start with my own counselling sessions, right? One more part-time business may be... ;)

By the way, I got text from my friend that, things were good between her and her husband. Even before picking up the ice-cream for her family, she got call from her husband - the daily call that have you left from office or not. (So caring). Later in the night as per her text, he had bought her flowers Gajara too... (Vow... so romantic way to end the fight :) Did she has to say anything else then.... wink wink.... )

Dear world, world is lovely place if you live with your loved ones with love. At the end of the day, loved ones are the ones who matter....No other materialistic thing is going to get you peace. When you see that love in the eyes of your loved one and that care in their behavior, you are the happiest person on the earth. Enjoy that... Don't let anyone  and anything ruin it...

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