Thursday, September 21, 2017

It's New World...

New day is always opportunity for New Beginnings. New Beginning is New World. Good Morning World. Have a Great New Beginning.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Flavoured Water

 

My water intake had reduced drastically last couple of months. While I want to re-begin with my healthy lifestyle, here is a step. I am drinking fruits infused water. I had asked for this bottle instead of payment to one of clients. Started using it and today I have started liking it. Let's see if it makes any difference.

Ek Noor Aadmi 10 Noor Kapda

  
I went  to a place for my KYC. It was my second visit already. First time, they needed all the original documents and one of them was not with me. So this was second visit. After waiting for long time when it was my turn, I needed to go to the supervisor and then from that person to his supervisor. Reason was simple... Name discrepancies... Actually it was not the name discrepancy... rather I had all the documents required for the name I wanted... But the fact the person didn't like the concept that I should use this name. Seriously?

As per government laws in India, a married woman can continue her father's surname, if she wish. And if she is divorcee, again woman have choice of surnames. She can continue to use husband's surname or can keep father's surname whatever she wishes.

On the similar point I had fought in the past with one bank official and in the end everything was done as per my wish given I had showed appropriate proofs. This time also I had all the documents.. and that was my decision which surname I need to keep.
Obviously, at this time, I will want to keep the names whichever will require lesser efforts to me. It doesn't matter at this point in time to me which it is. I may change name in future depending on requirement. But at this time, I am not struggling alone with these government offices.

Anyway, so the person was very stubborn types and was not accepting the above laws. So am I... My values are my values. I may suffer losses for it but not going to tweak my values. I know I am right then I am not doing anything just to please you. I may not be emotionally attached to this name now but it doesn't mean I am taking a lot of efforts to change  and that too just to please your mind officer.
Alright, so in the end I was informed that my KYC can't be done though I had all the supporting documents. That was it. I then decided to close the account and then did all the procedure I was informed to.
Now for all this process it took 2-3 hours and my son was with me all this time. Obviously, like any good mother I too have all the things right from food, water to extra pair of clothes for him and I was feeding him time to time. But obviously he got bored after 3 hours and started whining. At this time, my application for closure was processed to the actual person closing the account. The lady checked the details and then called me and asked the reason to close. I did explain her that since they were not able to do my KYC, I needed to close it since I don't want to use such service. She checked all my documents and then requested me to sit. She reassured me that she can do everything fine and provided my son with some toy to play. She said she was observing me since hours that I was meeting different people with my son and bag alone. She said, it was not that big problem. She then went from all the staff members to whom I had met. She even went to the highest authority there and guess what, my issue was resolved. My KYC was done properly. She even offered lunch to me and my son, but I did have my food with me so I just thanked her.
 
I am really lucky that I get at least one person everywhere who reduces my problems and helps me. Thank You God for surrounding me with good people. Thank You...

But you know what, when I actually think with brain now this whole incident, I feel very bad. I think, the respect I was given, was not towards me but it was for the money or the business I made and will make to them. As stated earlier, I am in vacation mood these days, hence I am just wearing my super comfy casuals everywhere in the city. So looking at my clothes you don't feel that I am a client which you should give the special attention.
When you actually go into my account details while closing the account, you realize that I am high profile customer and suddenly you try your best and your rules are changed. My kid was with me since the time I was juggling through all the rubbish for hours and you suddenly feel that my kid would be hungry when you see my account balance may be. It should have been clear the moment I entered. I was actually sitting in special customers section.
 
Anyway, so once again it was the experience where appearance mattered. My close people know how I am not very much into appearance. But such incidents really make me do that dressing up and getting ready for the stupid world.
 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

I am Alive

I get Wings to fly.....

Love Hate Relationship

Finished reading a book..... Sort of love story.... Where one person loves another while he hates her. Okay.....love-hate relationship.... Many years ago I had read a book (either of S Rajwade or Suhas Shirwalkar). It was lovestory too but in it the girl loves the person and hates a character who is the same person appearantly. 
God....I thought that time why to complicate things.... I felt all drama in that book too filmy.
And this love hate relationship in current book.... Man... The boy is not interested in even simple casual talks with her...let remain the friendship....he had problem even if she called or texted him. He didn't even accept her friends request on social media..... And do all the efforts to avoid her.....at parties and wherever. When girls  friend texts him for some help and they go to his place, that person don't even see them, just asks his servant to give them message. Seriously....what the girl was thinking.... Again the same feeling as Badrinath ki Dulhaniya. Didn't she had any self Respect? Why to chase a person who is clearly not interested? And then these writers will do anything for happy ending.... Come on....you can't force anyone to like you. As simple as that.
Wasted my midnight reading this. Alright, you don't like a book... You come to know only after you read it.
I need to read another book now as well. It's review deadline today. Just took a break. Good Night World... I am enjoying my night reading.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Celebrating Break...

I really needed a break since long. I actually wanted to go to Himalayas as I feel many times.... Well, not Himalayas then atleast some place far away from this routine. But alas, due to my son's examination, I couldn't go. ( Seriously man, sometimes I don't understand....all that these kids write are alphabets with standing line and sleeping line...still how come these kids exams last for 15 days? Anyway, I understand different subjects.)  So I had to plan only on days he have holidays. I planned for Karnataka.... and then Goa too... But somehow plan couldn't be executed. I am the person who won't cry over spolit milk... actually, I  will make cottage cheese from spoilt milk.
 So below is the outcome of my outing.
 






Thank You God. Now, I am ready to face the world....face d world with a wink of an eye....☺ say hi hi hi to the passers-by....☺

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Maine Dil se Kaha...

There is a common trait in my best friends.... These are those people....who acknowledge their feelings and emotions... whatever they may be... They don't judge... they don't label them as right or wrong.... And obviously express with whoever comfortable with.... If I am feeling like mourning when everything is fine or perfect as per "world", I should... Its just natural... and that is the only way to get those emotions out... It happens with all of us, right? We just feel like upset and sad and we don't even know the reason... Just that phase.



Kaise Mai Kahu Tuzse....

Woke up with a dream and different feeling... so wanted to see this song...

God.... Sonuuuuu..... This one and actually all the songs from this film... my brother used to keep listening.... Don't know how come I am missing this one today....


Hey, wait a minute... this is from Sandip Khare's channel.... Is this my Sandip Khare?  Sandip Khare from the Salil Kulkarni + Sandip Khare duo...  No.... not mine... There are so many songs from Sandip Khare... which I just love...

PS: This is from my those posts in drafts which I had written but never posted. I don't see any dreams these days... and I don't want to see any dream... I don't want to be dreamy little girl... World is cruel...Let me be real and practical... and boring may be... (yeah, yah, yeah, I know myself... :) I will be normal is some time... :) )

Aur Aahista.... Kijiye Baatein...

Aur Aahista.... Kijiye Baatein...  Dhadkane Koi sun raha hoga....




Do you seriously change to do the things "slowly" considering someone is listening to your heartbeats...? I don't know... 
Haircut.... humhu....

Friday, September 15, 2017

Everything I do...



She couldn't hurt anyone... because she herself was searching for love...

Dahi Handi

I remembered that I am posting these photos each year... Alright, so it was Lord Krishna's birthday and today the dahi handi celebration... and I had planned that I won't be going this year to see the events in the city since I had to study for some interview scheduled tomorrow.
But you see destiny has plans for us... :) . Because of unexpected situation, I had to drop my father to a place in the city and while riding back, I got caught in all these processions.
Since the Independence day and Dahi handi came on same day, see this decoration below. They had several matkis hanged.

All the roads I wanted to pass were blocked and I had to take alternative roads on almost all the roads I went...  This is just a reminder... I will need to plan my route for coming Ganeshotsav festival. It is going to take hours for commute.

Anyway, I know, God knows that I like watching these Dahi Handi processions and events and you see, knock on the wood that he makes sure that all my wishes are fulfilled...

Ek Din Fursatme

Ek Din Fursatme... thame haath Hamare...
le gayi Us dagar pe... jaha rahti hai Baharein...
Chal diye Hum bhi Ghar se... ho ke kuch Befikar se..
Dil tha Apne bharose... Hum the Dil ke sahaare...



My God.... I think my subconscious mind is playing my playlist of last one decade these days.... It all has started from In Dino... Actually, not only songs and playlist... but may be I  am seeing the complete flashback film of my own life in last 10 years.... Vow.. a decade... that's good time... So many things... so many people... so many experiences...
A Decade of ..... !!!    What? ... decade of... restlessness?.... No... Happiness.....? Umm....  Experiences..... Umm.... Dreams....hunhu....... Songs....Umm.... learning.... challenges... opportunities...achievements....pains... sorrows...skills....laughter....travel....
knowing myself... being me...

Two Rings and Ten Offers

If you are my regular reader from beginning of this blog, you might be remembering that in my monthly goals I would have an item "Job Interview". I would go for job interviews at least once a month to stay update with the industry I work in. I had that folder of  "Offer Letters" created in my inbox.  Alright... so point of remembering the old thing is that I had started with that goal again.

Okay now after rock ground reality, let me go and fly in dreams. Last month when I had started with this goal of job interviews,  after few days I saw a dream in my sleep. Grab your coffee readers, I am going to narrate it completely... It was so lovely.... Naah....  let it be upto me only... I will just tell the main point...
So I went for a corporate lunch where I knew nobody except one co-worker. It was delicious food and stylish ambiance. I liked the place. After I was finished eating, my co-worker came to me and asked if I had seen a place near reception. She said that there was some decoration which I would definitely love and asked me to go and check out... I went there... there was a bowl with something to eat... I checked it and guess what... There was a Diamond Ring in it... What? A diamond ring? what does it mean? Is it for me? Seriously? I mean.... Ohhh...Oh my God.... Okay... so that's the reason my colleague friend sent me here.. to checkout the decoration which is not here... So someone who had planted this ring here has taken her help to send me here... Hunhun.... But wait a minute... What the..... What is this? Another diamond ring...!!!!! What....? Second one....? Wait...!!! One diamond ring... like this.... and another diamond ring... like this.... Okay... I got it now.... ( By the way... I have actually sketched the designs of both of these diamond rings in my diary.... you see... Proposals are nowhere in the cards now....So, I only will have to become my own Imran Hashmi of Jannat and buy these rings for me...Off course one day certainly I will... ). I observed them carefully for some time... and I put one of them slowly in my pocket...(Does that mean I had accepted that ring? Don't know.) I took other one in hand and came to the co-worker and narrated her the incident of 2-rings with doubt that are these rings for me or someone else and she was startled.... Ye Dusra Kaun hai....Dusri wali ring kisne rakhi... (who kept the second ring) ?!!! I burst into laughter..... I laughed so much that tears fell down from my eyes...
Okay so that's it... When I got up and was thinking about this dream... I realized it has a meaning... the future it was screaming... I told this dream to one of my bestie who called me and she too had same feeling... "that's good sign...". Folks... I had my first job offer within 48 hours when I decided to go for job interviews.... 48 hours only.... Off course, it was not something that I wished to do... I just kept it as my Plan Z... the last option in worst worst worst case scenario. So around the time of this dream, I was in process of job interviews with 2 good organizations... After this dream, my heart knew the outcome... I would be getting 2 diamond rings... I will have to choose which one I am going to accept.
By the way.. now when I am going and attending job interviews, it has given me so much  confidence... Refreshed few things... few tutorials, few videos and I am rocking in all the interviews... Even if somewhere I am not doing so good... it's like I am telling them... Oh so I am not as per your requirements, right... I don't fit in here and like we are not made for each other.... everything is easy... Seriously man? This is meeee... yes... this is myself... I am in so much demand? What I was doing? This was so easy... Once again I realized the same thing... The problems I had before taking "that big decision" were more than the problems I had after... yes... once again... you only think bad things and fear before crossing the bridge... But once you cross that bridge... you realize... there's nothing to fear... Everything is easy... God takes care of everything you know... So, now my goal was to get 10 job offers... Off course I understand, it is not possible in a month so I am not going to write in my monthly goals... But in couple of months may be... Yes... and I was just fascinated with this idea of 10 job offers in hand...
Me : Baby listen for a minute... You will take 10 offers... and then you will not go there.... does that not mean that you are deceiving them? Those organizations will be relying on you....They will plan accordingly and you will ditch them? Does that suit you? Is that you?
Myself : No...But I want to prove myself...
Me: To whom?
Myself : Umm....
Me: Is it required?
Myself: Umm....
Me : Then?
Myself : Hmm.... Right....That's valid point... But I wish to get 10 offers...
Me : What for?
Myself : I don't know...Okay... point understood... But then I will buy 10 diamond rings.... Is that fine?
Me : :)

To buy one diamond ring, I had to start Kitty in ORRA for a year. I am calculating, how many years and money I will have to save to buy 10 diamond rings... :)

PS: At the time of publishing this post, I needed only 3 diamond rings to complete my wish... Actually, I could have got all the 10 easily within that month but then I stopped in between realizing the un-necessity of it...

Mai Zinda Hu Lekin...

Mai Zinda Hu Lekin... Kaha Zindagi hai.... -- When you are alive but there is no life in your eyes...


Sometimes I am just trusting wrong people may be... who... Anyway, my mistake...
While I am mourning over something and I can't write anything... But I don't want to leave blog alone. I am just going to publish posts in the drafts from last couple of months... which may or may not be relevant now...

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Dil Dil Dhak Dhak... Dhak Dhak Dil Dil.... Abse kabtak... kabse Abtak...

Woke up with a dream.... Today's day  had to start with lovely dream....But not feeling happy...It was not happy ending dream.... Dear God... what?
By the way I am missing some music in this movie very much and I want to use the music in something that I am creating... It is a music in the movie which is theme of say journey of searching him/her... that music... I thought it will be in this song Muze Kuch Kahna hai.... or Jabse dekha hai Tere... But couldn't find it...


Search is on... Just few hours left and have lots of lots of things to do...
Good Morning World.... Happy Sunday.... 

We don't say Good Bye

Everyone has to deal with this dilemma many times in the life... You want something and something which you know you can't get together.... and then when you are enjoying one of the something, you can't actually enjoy it since you want another of something too... :)

As children, we might want to play all the time but we also want to have good grades.... Then it will start with education itself... If you want to go for higher studies, you might have to leave your friends and parents safe home... When comes to earning, you might have to try your luck in your dream city, leaving your own city and own people.... When you are in love... well actually married.... you miss your parents... (I am obviously writing for woman) you want your beloved and your parents together but obviously when you go to visit parents, you have to miss your husband may be... When you want to spend time with your family and kids, you might want to stay away from them for longer duration for your work needs... But to make their future secure, you have to stay away from them earning..

Oh God... sometimes I just feel why I am thinking and writing whole drama...  Just view the songs and that's it....


Saturday, September 9, 2017

The Final Countdown

Huhu...  Aah.....

Alright.... I think this is third time on this blog... I am posting this song... And this time.... it's not just the sixth sense or gut feeling..... It is the fact....


Ship is safe in harbor... But it's not meant for harbor. It needs to sail in open sea.... And anyway, everyone is alone in the end.... We need to do this journey all alone... People come and go.... Life moves on....

Friday, September 8, 2017

Aye Jaate Hue Lamho.... Jara Thahro Jara Thahro




   To chalu.... To chalu...

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Good Morning Sunshine

When it's weekend and even in songs you don't want to say this... Good Morning Sunshine...

Things to do... Chores to finish... Tasks to do... Shopping to do... People to meet...
And you are just not ready to getup and get out of your bed...
Naaah.... I am not getting up and doing anything... I think I am sick...I need to take rest.. :)

Good Morning World... Have a great and Happening weekend... Get out of your bed and Enjoy...

Friday, September 1, 2017

Muskurata hua Mera Yaar...

Since I wrote about brother in last post... Here is a song that he made me listen so many times in the morning in our old golden bachelor days....



Huhu.... I really love playing guitar... I am definitely going to learn it and play it one day...
Muskurata hua Mera Yaar... Mera Yaar....Mera Yaar... 

Nobody loves me and Dosa....

It was long weekend. Hence, chores, tasks and rest was done by the family members. There was a reason for celebration in family hence few guests were also gathered. Since the Ganpati festival is going on there was suggestion to see all the nearby public Ganapati celebrations. Obviously, I too had to go. I was not in very much good mood but had to accompany. Basically I was just a driver along with other few in family including my younger brother. We generally would be outside only and didn't visit those temples always since we didn't want to park our vehicles.
I was really bored and well hungry too. At one place I saw few food stalls at roadside and suddenly a Dosa center caught my attention. I had Dosa craving strongly. Yes... that's what I needed to make my mood good again. When our family members went inside to see the Ganpatiji , decorations and the scene I asked my younger brother that we will go and have Dosa in the time our family members come outside. It was just a Bhai-Bahan treat that we would do in our old golden bachelor days, all I wanted. But he simply rejected my proposal.

I was hurt inside. It's not like I can't go and have it alone. Rather, I go alone all the time and eat whatever I want. I am famous at my workplace for eating alone and not sharing food. But sometimes, I feel that I need some pampering. I thought younger brother would understand this. But it seems he didn't. My bad mood again went on to worse. My heart has started that "Nobody loves me.... Nobody cares for me" drama in my mind. I stayed calm though and we went on with our driving jobs.

I had almost finished with all household chores in the night and was trying to make my baby sleep in the bedroom when there was knock on the door. I saw he was my younger brother. He said, shut the door properly. I stared at him since I didn't understand his advice. But before I speak anything, he handed over a parcel to me and went. I opened and saw... it was hot Dosa... from a good restaurant. Oh my God... I mean... Seriously... I am just... stupid... I just went on to conclusion of that Nobody loves me... :)
Yes... I know... everybody loves me... actually, that's what people call me....with love...

So, that night was to Bhai-Bahan as always.... We may not show it everyday... But love is always there... deep down the heart... 

Falling off....


What this leaf would be feeling while falling from the tree where it grew for years...? JagdishChandra Bose had proved that trees has emotions..I mean that's what I had read. But do that leaf have emotions or feelings? What if leaf is feeling to cry out loudly? Can a leaf cry? 

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Tu Mera Dil - You are Apple of my Eye

Bus yahi soch kar Raaton Ko Mai nahi sota.....

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Ghadi bhar ka hai Khel Sara ... Just a matter of time...

I was at holy place where I heard some ticking sound from the bell. There was no reason of that sound. I observed and realized.... it was hint for me may be... Time is ticking...and this came to my mind... Ghadi bhar ka hai Khel Sara...
Seriously, I can think of anything, anywhere, anytime...

Bechain Mai Hu... Bekrar Mai Hu Na...

Apne to saare is kinare rah gaye...
Tanha chala jo Us paar... Mai hu naa...

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Ganeshotsav and Dance Workout

I live in most happening area of the city. All the festivals are celebrated grandly in neighborhood. Ganeshotsav has started yesterday and this place has just became very rocking place once again. Since it has many Ganesh Mandaps all around, it is just crowded 24-hours in these 10 days tenure. Because of all those stalls playing music loudly, it becomes lively place all the time. 
Alright, now cut to my life... Last few days I was not able to take care of myself due to the various issues. Result : I am suffering from hairfall, I have got pimples over all over the face and my tummy has increased. I need to take care of myself now.  I have stopped exercising altogether.  Even drinking water was cut-short. Obviously, problems issues in life are still there and I don't know how I am going to handle all these things. But thing is I have made peace with me. So, whatever happens I am going to face it with myself happily. I am going to re-begin mission Healthy Fit Me now. Our special days have ended, so again I can eat veggies and fruits to have healthy diet. Now, I have good reason for workout. This music playing is so inspiring that I couldn't stop myself from dancing. Got an idea that I will use this as opportunity and will do dance workout when this music is being played. Seriously, hours of workout which will give happiness only... Alright, do you think I can make any difference in 10 days? Okay, lets challenge... Today was second day of Ganeshotsav... Will do dance workout, all healthy eating and all our healthy things for next 10 days... and will see how much it affects... What says? Alright, done... I have this gut-feeling that my life is going to change for something better and I will be facing a major change in life. So, why don't I face the change with fitter and more beautiful version of myself? Huhu... 
Let's not stress about anything... Anyway, why should be sad by keep thinking of people who are not part of life anyway... Most of the people just use you for their entertainment.... It's only us who suffer in the end...Why give that chance to anybody? So why not enjoy ourselves...Enjoy our own company....You know, in the we all end up alone... lonely.... We come in the world lonely.... and we have to die lonely... I am not remembering the song but it has this lyrics... To Hum Gaaye kyu nahi... Hum nache kyu nahi... 
Okay so I am done with my today's dance workout... More tomorrow... 

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Random Thoughts

I look at birds on the tree, as I sip through my tea-mug... I feel I have became more like birds.... There is just uncertainty about everything...They don't store their food for tomorrow. They just live this moment...Now... When Tomorrow becomes Today, they again leave home in search of food... They are not sure about anything in future... This branch or may be this tree itself where they have their home will be there or not. They are still happy... I mean that's what I decipher. Actually we all should be like this. We don't know what's going to happen next moment. We just waste our life worrying, over thinking, hating, getting angry, holding grudges..... And in the end...that movie dream sequence which is played in your brain in last 1 n half minute of death.... That movie should be of happy Moments...loved ones.... You get to choose what you want in that movie.... Love deeply and it will be there...well, I guess I am derailing from my own thoughts now. Better will get up...tea is almost cold...
Tea.... I am not habitual to it... But when I drink I WANT it the best...And this tea is after a complete fasting yesterday... So kind of deserve this blog post while relaxed tea...
 BTW, I have many posts lined up in my drafts already... The thing I am waiting for is trigger for all my posts publishing. But seems it's not going to happen anytime soon so till the time I am just writing feelings, posts and saving them... May be will publish sometime...
 Or may be not.... God knows... 
Happy Weekend World...
 I Have lots of things to do... You enjoy the life till the time.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Tere Bin Jina Nahi....

Music

Once again I have created a huge playlist in my mobile phone and now more than myself, my son is listening to them. I just smile when he wants to listen Himesh's songs again and again. And he asks me the meaning of words... the lyrics too... Anyway, my son's day is starting with songs in my phone and when I am rocking him to sleep in the night, again he needs songs in background. Then my own personal time to listen those... So music is at home now most of the time...
At work I have got a cabin.. well not exact cabin but cabin like space... all my own... see again I am taking it in positive way and giving it my own touch, name... I remembered that one of my project managers would start his work day by playing sarangi music in his cabin. So when nobody is around, I play my music in my cabin... Seriously, when one of the co-workers who thinks me as "Aunty type-s" came to my space and he listened "Sexy Eyes" playing, he actually checked his phone feeling that his phone is playing that song. :) Great was reaction on his face when he realized that was me... So even though my radio is off from some time now, but music is in life...



I mean seriously? In day time, sexy eyes and past midnight crying eyes - Bheegi nahi Aankhein...???

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

How do you celebrate New Beginnings?

I have a bestie who would cut her hair short.... Boy cut... eachtime....whenever she changed jobs.... That was her way to welcome new jobs.... Now she has waist length hair and time for her boy cut again.... New Beginnings.... New look.... Nice concept..... But long hair.... :(

Reason

Huhu.... Okkay...

The Melting Words

Oh my God... just before few hours I posted about Rahul Kaushik.... and now his post... I mean... is he writing for me? Now I am seriously having some feeling that I don't understand.... Is this something like that happened in "Bade Acche Lagte Hai...". There was a time years ago, I wouldn't miss that show because, by some co-incidence, it would show those things which would happen in my life... same time... Well, obviously this happened for some time only... But at that time, it was like... is this my life story someone watching and writing here... even the people around me have experienced that connection....
Anyway, so am I hurting someone? No... please.... I don't want to hurt anyone but how would I know... and how do I trust when the experiences that I had tell another story.... 

Don't waste New Beginnings with Kindness on Haters....

Murder in a Minute and Rahul Kaushik...
What are these writers.... Oh My God...

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Dua - The Prayer

Okay.... difficult song to sing....  Need to practice more..



By the way, what is this video... Seems scenes from some serial... But why she is doing suicide... Oh God... not again... recently someone told me how suicide is not solution of the problems and blah blah... Comeon yaar, you are saying all this to me....??? The most lively person....!!! The most positive person..... who sees positive thing in worstestestest possible situation......!!! I know this yaar... and this is what I explain to the negative people who I think need help. Anyway, my stomach is growling now... I am fasting today and stomach is already asking for fuel. God... please... You know I am fasting to prove myself that I can fast... ( though I know I can't).  Our special days have started where we do spend most of the time in religious activities, mediation and fasting. My parents fast for all the 9 days.... since years... and I am such a shame to them that even if I eat 2-3 portions less than regular in office, I am about to collapse... :) What do I do... body structure may be... But anyway... today I am fasting... nomatter what... Oh God... its only 9 hours past and minimum of total 29 hours from now are remaining to finish this one day fast.... Okay fine.. I will keep sleeping all day... nooo... I can't do that... I need to go to temple and do the things and worships and all... even these household chores... and even this thing that I am hating to do.... God... please give me strength to stay hungry without any issue... Let me be able to do this atleast one day...

Maturity and Smile comes with price tag of tears


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Goals for the Month - August 2017

I know, I have not posted goals of this month yet and you might be waiting. But I am waiting for something which will change my goals tremendously. Hence, give me a couple of days time and I will pen down them as per the situation.
Meanwhile, Happy Independence Day, India.... 

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Bachenge to Aur Bhi Ladenge…

Its amazing how life has become like the life of Jethalal in Tarak Mehta ka Ulta Chashma…. One problem is solved… another problem enters from the door….
When I was flying in the sky freely and winning all over…. Something came up to cut my wings….
Seriously… the same reason….the reason for my downfall…. Now I am not going to make this reason for my bad days and bad time…


I am a warrior and will fight till…. I myself have to become my own Krishna and guide the Arjun in myself with the BhagvadGeeta... Keep going baby ..



 I am amazed though… how someone who had loved you once, can hurt you, injure you…  Can we call it as love? Was it love at all? any time?

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Kabhi Tum nahi the, kabhi Hum nahi the...


Saturday, August 5, 2017

Just like that.....

Sitting at window, looking at moon.... Restless... and again without any reason....
Everything happens for a reason, I do strongly believe....
But this heart don't understand.... how do I now live....
Nothing has happened.... still tears fall down...
What stupid heart wishes for, will I get that crown....


Friday, August 4, 2017

Nayi hai Mazilein... Naye hai Raastein....


Tu Mere Saath Saath Aasmaan se aage chal... Tuze pukaarta hai Tera Aane wala Kal...
Nayi hai Manzilein... Naye hai Raastein.... Naya Naya Safar hai Tere waastein....



HuHun... 

Bin Tere

 I was listening to Aryans'  'Ye Hawa kahti hai Kya' while working. My cubiclemates call me headphones queen who sing while working and many memes have been shared with me for this. So from this song the catchy line - Bin Tere Mai kaise Ji sakunga... Tera Pyaar kab mai pa sakunga was the one I was repeating all day. Listening to this Bin Tere lines, one of my coworkers shared this video with me to check another Bin Tere version saying to change me the song that I was singing ( Yes, one of my coworkers do share songs with me to hear those songs in my voice... cool and crazy, isn't it.)... and that was it...



So beautifully sung by this kid that I don't have words... I was so emotional listening to this, I just decided, I am not going to listen any and means any of sad love songs now...

My experience says that if someone is making you cry, time to part from those people is near... But what if someone is going away and that's why you are crying.... Happens all the time, right?

PS:  Well, I had started writing this post couple of days back... and guess what, I am in totally opposite mood at this moment... Actually, what songs make you feel is totally on our mood... Now, Some time back on my loop continuously was playing Tere Bina from Himesh... And then I got some kind of Good News which made me happy... Well, Sad version Tere Bina which I was humming immediately became into a rocking pop number... So, I am definitely going to listen all the songs... no ban on love songs too... :) 

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Goals for the Month - July 2017 - Month end Review

One day is pending to end July but I will be busy later so posting my month end review. You can find my July month goals here.

  • Record  -- Not done. Though I am singing various songs myself... not recorded. 0% Failed.

  • Salon and Spa --Seriously a very little of this budget is spent. I didn't had mood to do anything you know. Well, not found anything to finance this yet. 30% Failed.

  • Weekends -- Monsoon picnic with family done on a weekend this month. And since it was July Income Tax Return month, I was really busy meeting with clients and doing stuffs on weekends. So, weekends well spent. 80% Okay. 

  • Lunch/ Dinner Date : 6 Lunch/Dinner dates - 150% done. My son too is used to hoteling now. When I do take him for long rides in the evening, he will just see some restaurant and will ask for dinner and then we actually go there... Mother - Son duo...eating happily ....in the pajamas...Waiters are used to see this scene now... :) Anyway, then I did take myself to a very expensive star hotel that I have never been into and got myself good coffee and specially made customized snacks for myself... All alone... and happy... It was celebration that I did for farewell of that long time customer whom I referred in the goals that is leaving. So the last full n final payment was good amount so I just took a chance to celebrate a bit. I badly needed this coffee break in these days. 
  • Read and Review -- 2 book reviews... (approved). -- No -- 0% Failed.

  • Writing: 0% Failed completely.
  • Shopping : No shopping, not even anklet... I don't need anklet anymore and I already have which I need so no shopping. Though I am creating a list of shopping which I will be doing after "I get something good reason in life for shopping". 100% Done
  • Cooking :  Okay... it was okay... more on this section in next post may be...60% Okay..


  • Health :
  • Diet --  So healthy diet... 2 salads, one fruit, one glass milk daily minimum... milk obviously not for all days* and adjust dinner time... I am feeling hungry late in the night... -- This was seriously impacted. I have started with hair fall and then these pimples on my face... Something big has hit my diet or may be its just stress that I don't have ;) -- 0% Failed.

  • Drinking 5 liters of Water daily -- This also went for a toss... I am not even drinking 2 liters these days.. 0% Failed.

  • Drinking Milk Daily -- 40%. Okay
    • Walking 30 minutes --  Ahha... I got a very good reason for this and I am glad about it. So, this is going good. 80% Done.
      •  
    • Plank -- 20 days minimum. - 40%. Alright.


    • Work -- Okay... so this was the client that I was talking about. That was good business. I did bid farewell in very good manner to the customer. Anyway, I haven't found anything to replace this income yet. Search is on. 10%

    • PDUs-- Just see this image... Do I still need to say anything....
    • Though not planned, I happened to earn them this month as well and see this is the result... I have actually earned all the PDUs I need to renew my PMP credentials which is due in 2.5 years.... Dear God, please make other things as well so effortless for me... This was leisure activity... 1000%

    • Tax planning -- Doing and going good. 90%.
    • Chanting 108 mantras for 20 days -- Done -- 100% But as written earlier, not focused. 
    • Car Driving -- 0%. Failed. I didn't even drive to Monsoon picnic this month. Oh that was different experience altogether.

    • Hobby : 0% Failed.

    Its already 4.30 am in the clock and I haven't slept yet. Not writing anything... just be happy until my next post. 

    Pahchaan - The Identity

    Oh yes by the way, music has also left me alone these days...  My music mobile has became dead without any reason and the new mobile's headsets are not working for some reason... Yes... have to send it to customer care center.. but that's not priority at this moment so may be later... But offcourse, I am not leaving music alone... My heart keeps singing...no matter what....

    Itne Chehron me Apne Chehre ki Pehchaan...
    Bade Bade Naamon me Apna bhi Naamonishaan...




    Laagli Vaat... Laagli Vaat...

    Life Update : Life has some unexpected twists and turns and am figuring the best way out of it. 
    I went to a place and after sometime was surprised to see one of my besties there. I had talked to her on phone previous night and she had suggested me to visit the place. It was holy place and we were not allowed to talk. But I realized she had planned all this setup to talk to me in person. When there is will, there is way. We stole few minutes from the world to have a quick chat. After some of my updates she was, "Vow Yaar... Teri to har taraf se Vaat lag gai hai...!!! " (Rough translation : your whole life has become miserable) . I was just SO motivated with these words... And then we sang the song... "Laagli Vaat... Laagli Vaat....". I am so lucky to have such friends... who know how to handle me... Seriously... It will be so much fun to get life back on the boring track now...  

    Recently, I met a guy… Venu… (I know Maharashtrian reaction on this. I myself have a friend Venu who is girl… But anyway, he is from Hyderabad and hence I got to know that Venu is name of boy too).  He said, "You know what, you should be doing 'this'...". (And I was like… WHAT? Oh.My.God. This is exactly what my heart wants me to do… How come he knows this…He don’t even know me… We were talking just for few minutes…. Is he like too cute and understanding or am I communicating too frankly with him? I don't know...) Whatever… so I was happy to listen from a stranger about what I should do, exactly the way I wish.. It felt like a sign.. God is saying to pursue my wish…my dream... Yes Dear God… definitely… but what about now….this moment.... What if Plan A is taking too long to work… I know…it won’t but just consider worst case scenarios…. I am not considering Plan C and Plan D yet in the calculations… So I have to work on Plan B which I seriously don’t wish to do… but have to… 

    Saturday, July 29, 2017

    Thank You God... I know, it was You...

    I strongly believe this... Always... there is someone... always... .. 


    Stay Connected…. With yourself….

    As you might have observed in my monthly goals, I do few religious activities daily. Last few weeks…though I was doing them regularly, I was not feeling that "special feeling" in me. I was feeling that something is missing... It was just like something I am doing without any feeling. I am looking at God's idol but we are not connected... There was no communication....  I was realizing this and it was hurting a lot. I was not connected to God... I was not connected to myself... and I don't know why..

    Okay, not everybody will get this "Connecting with God or connecting with your inner-self" point. So, this happens with relationships as well…. You are putting in more than yourself in relationship, in building it…nurturing it... you lose yourself in the whole process and if still there is no desired response… you loose interest… and then you just do things without heart…. Actually relationship dies after some time…We see so many couples around us like this... just dragging the dead relationship....
      It happens with work as well… You do your job but if you don’t love what you do...you are living just “fakt rakane divasache bharto” and “patya takto” types work-life. 
      It happens with our own self as well…If I don't love myself, if I am not with my own self...I am basically hating myself... If my brain and heart are not in sync, I am not trying to fulfill my dreams, I am hating myself... My experience is when you are not with yourself and you are not behaving like your own self.. you loose everything..... But once you connect to your own inner-self... you are unstoppable... you win everything....The process of connecting with ourselves do take time... but its long lasting.... fulfilling... enriching...

    You know what, when you are not connected with yourself, all you feel is sad, alone and you wait for someone, you need someone else to show you your worth... to motivate you may be... .. you see like your heart will sing the Total eclipse of the heart.... And I need you more than ever.... But when you get connected with yourself... you are the super power... you don't need anyone... you will sing to yourself.... I am there for you.... Mai Hu Naa...  Koi mushkil, koi pareshani aaye, Muzse kaho... Tumhein lage kuch theek nahin Halaat, Mujhse kaho.... Koi ho Tamanna ya ho Koi Aarzu,  Rehna kabhi na Bekaraar.... Mai Hu Naa....
     Seriously, trust me when you SHOUT these lines inside your helmet and the bike-rider  next to you looks you strangely, you just shrug it off and don't care... Man... you have connected.. well connected with yourself... and to h*** with this world... 

    Dear God... thanks for staying by me... even when I am not trusting... not connecting...  I know, we will connect soon... 


    Sunday, July 16, 2017



    Wednesday, July 12, 2017

    Deewana Tera Tuzehi Bulaaye....



    Monday, July 10, 2017

    In Dino


    In Dinon... Dil Mera Muzse hai kah raha....
    Tu.... Khwaab Sajaa.... Tu.... Ji le Jaraa....



    Thanks for Everything... God....

    Sunday, July 9, 2017

    Pahli Baar....Aankhari Baar....

    I know, I am posting this song again in this blog. Last time it was about my coworker who had fallen in love for a girl and would share those cute things with me.
    Today... its me posting this... :) Nooooo.... just now it came on radio... that's it... nothing else... :) I am not giving Priyanka Chopra's version... I am still in love with Suresh Wadkar's version... the silent one...



    Thode bheege bheege se thode num hai Hum...
    Kal se soye hue bhi to kam hai Hum....
    Dil ne kaise harkat ki hai....
    Pahliiii baaar....Mohabbbaat ki hai...
    Aankhari baaaaar Mohabbbaat ki hai....

    Remembered....

    Other day, rather night I was at work doing my job and already late for home.  One young handsome man entered. He was wearing loose t-shirt and shorts...somewhat 'vacation mood' look. On seeing him, I suddenly felt 'deja vu'. I had seen the boy somewhere and I didn't remember where. I was stressing my brain so much, I forgot that I was actually in middle of a conversation with someone else. Oh God, the other person must have felt that I am checking out the young handsome cool dude. With embarrassing  awkwardness I continued my conversation. The person was talking to the boss and though they both were communicating in English, I recollected that the boy was Marathi. He left soon with boss.  I told my mother the incident and asked if she remember any of my friends or colleagues with such description. Till this point I had recollected that he had worked as actor. But I couldn't recollect him.

    Present:
    I was going through newspaper today when a photo on the first page of films section caught my attention and I just remembered. Eureka... Eureka.... It was image of a bald man, not so handsome... I went to my mother and asked, "if this person would have hair on his head, do you think you know him?" My mother saw photo and said, yes, He is "Saurabh Gokhale". Oh.My.God. I got him now... that night, he was Saurabh Gokhle in the shorts.... He is Marathi actor by profession.

    Happens all the time.... I have worked in so many fields... and with so many people that I keep on forgetting people... It's my mother who most of the time reminds me, "that boy is from your that diploma course..... Okay, that person we met.... you worked with that person in that library in that summer.... and so on.... " Thanks mother for reminding.... You know... my own life theory that I keep writing here....of "People come and go...Life moves on" actually had came from so many experiences...

    Anyway, so he has just maintained himself very well... he is not young boy... I mean off course not young as me... he is quite older than me... Similar incident had happened in my office once when someone came  to see the office space for rent and that time the person and I, we both had identified each other and we talked and all... Oh my bestie in office... I am so missing you now... Whom with I gossip about this now...

    Goals for the Month - July 2017

    Alright, its already 2 am in the clock but I am not sleepy at all. Cool songs are going on radio and it's perfect time to jot down the goals.

    I am in happy mood thanks to these cool songs and hence going to make happiness first priority on my monthly goals...

    • Record  -- This was done last month without any plan and it was good. So this time planning for it. This time that will be for myself... I love myself you know... I am dating myself.... I take myself out for lunch/dinner/tea/snacks/coffee and outing so... I deserve a song for myself this time.... :)

    • Leisure -- Stress will be allover this month... Well, it will trouble me only if I mind... Let's just laugh out the things....
    • Salon and Spa --Well, salon budget is going to blow this month I guess... At the time of writing this goals, I have already visited salon several times in this month. Today also I had a "look good for" visit. God, please take care of these expenses... Salon prices are going to be up because of GST. I need to find some new gig to finance salon expenses now.

    • Weekends -- One monsoon picnic is planned this month with family... I had already bought tickets of the resort... I plan to drive. If possible, one solo trip as well... which seems impossible this month given my weekends are busy with work. I was super busy today and 3 meetings lined up already for tomorrow.

    • Lunch/ Dinner Date : I will have minimum of 6 Lunch/dinner/snacks dates with myself. Seriously this is badly needed.
     
    • Read and Review -- This takes time process wise so now after bit experience I need to estimate this carefully. Now I know, it is going to take time anyhow so will plan accordingly. 2 book reviews... (approved).

    • Writing: I am again making writing as my priority. Its such a stress buster. I will be spending much time reading+writing. I want to write whatever I have in my drafts, bookmarks and mind since long. Let the posts be flooded to my technical blog. Minimum 5 posts to technical blog after today and a full length technical article. Six months review for annual goals as well... 

    • Shopping : No shopping for myself... only essential things for home and son will be bought this month. Wait... my anklet is pending... Okay fine... anklet shopping.

    • Cooking :  Kids friendly cooking. At the evening time, if I get call, my coworkers know... caller would be my son and will ask for some food item.... Mother... I love you so much... I love Jilebis too... I love gulab jamuns too...kaju katli... and what not... and obviously like any good mother I prefer only my cooked food for him... so I make jilebis, gulab jamuns etc for him. He has seen my chocolates mould and now keeps asking me to make chocolates... No baby... I am not gonna fall for this...you are not getting chocolates...


    • Health :
    • Diet -- I am having "feeling" that my healthy diet has derailed... and this might affect my hair...I don't want hair fall now... So healthy diet... 2 salads, one fruit, one glass milk daily minimum... milk obviously not for all days* and adjust dinner time... I am feeling hungry late in the night... (At the time of writing this also I am feeling too hungry now... what do I eat now...)

    • Drinking 5 liters of Water daily -- Continue with this.

    • Drinking Milk Daily -- Continue with this.
      • Walking 30 minutes --  Continue with this.
        •  
      • Plank -- 20 days minimum.


      • Work -- I have a client who is leaving this month forever. It was long association and good money too. It won't be there now. So, need to find something else to fill up that space. WORK  this on PRIORITY. Have few ideas... have to figure out and work accordingly to get success.


      • PDUs-- I am not planning for any of it actually this month. So, even couple of PDUs will be okay for this month. That I can actually get by attending chapter's meeting and business lunch/dinner whatever is planned for this month.

      • Tax planning -- ELSS, automatic payments, income tax return.

      • Chanting 108 mantras for 20 days -- This is going okay these days so I think I will be able to achieve this easily.

      • Car Driving -- Get servicing done and continue with practice. Drive to Monson trip.

      • Hobby : Create something cool

      At the time of writing these goals I am actually little (very little) bit worried but confident too. I am not fearing even for a second. I know, God is with me.. I know, we will do it. I think I am getting close to what I want.... how part of it... I was figuring out... I think clouds are clearing now... I am able to see the sunshine... Again, it's a risk... but that's how we enjoy our life, right? by risking everything... Let's see what happens... I know, whatever God does, its all for good in the end.

      Goals for the Month - June 2017 - Monthend Review

      Alight, it's late already for review. Better late than never. You can read my June month's goals here.
      • Exercise :
      First of all, there was no weight gain. It was just my "feeling". God knows what all just feelings are going to be false... I just hope some "feelings" should be false.
      • Plank -- Planks for minimum 20 days. –  Done - 100%
       
      • Drinking 5 liters of Water daily – Done - 100%.
       
      • Drinking Milk Daily --  I actually did drink milk daily but turmeric milk for 15 days not done... but good news is my son is drinking that turmeric milk. So... 80%.
       
      • Walking/Playing 30 minutes --  Done - 100%.
       
      • Research about Fitness tracker – Not done. Not even started. May be I am postponing this. 0%

      Reading and Writing :
       
      • Read and Review – Reading 4 books and submit its review. 60%
      • Post all the older reviews in a book-review blog. – Still doing legal things on this one. 10%.
      •  Publish a finance article in local news channel. It’s been long time, I am not in print media. - Draft is ready. not yet published. - 20%.
      •  Technical blog posts publishing.  - 50%
      • One technical article. -- Not done. I was doing blog posts, full fledge tutorial not done. -- 0%
      • PDUs—      Done.100%  -- Interestingly, now I am earning these without doing much and I am enjoying.
       
      • Finance Planning :
      • Car insurance renewal. -- Research done but not yet paid. Well, due date is next month so... not doing until last minute:) -- 70%.
      • Pay premiums of the due policies. -- Done - 100%
      • Tax planning -- Set all the automatic payments this month. -- 60%
      • File return. (I am writing this… but I know… this is not happening, until the last minute… Still will write it here…) -- I know myself man... how could I? Not done.... :( . 0%
       
      • Shopping :
      • School Shopping -- Done - 100% 
      • Water Purifier -- Postponed -- 0% Instead bought phone.
      • Rain wear -- Done -- 100%
      • Anklets -- Not done -- 0%
      • Clothes -- 400% .
       
      • Life Skills :
      • Car Driving – 75%.
       
      • Cooking :  Cooked many things but not what I had planned for. No lollypop :( So 0%.
       
      • Try different styles of eye-liner – Good going. My coworkers can actually see the progress. I got daily feedback like, "right eye is perfect, left is little bit thinner.... You know what... darker one color suits your face... when you get it thick, it goes well with your eyes.... " Okay... whatever... 90%
       
      • Learning language – I am just not in mood to write about this. I don't feel insulting feeling easily. But I am feeling so so so much these days and it hurts most when you don't want to get hurt from that person.... I will just write 40%.
       
      • Hobby : Creating something cool. -- 150%
       
      • Religion/Spiritual :
    • Get son admitted to annual course of religion. -- Done and going good. -- I rush to his religious school to see that he is studying well. -- 100%.
    •  
    • Chanting 108 mantras for 20 days -- 100%.
    •  
    • One special type of fast – Not done -- 0%

    •  
      •  Leisure
       
      • Bike Servicing  - Done -- 100%.
       
      Overall okay month. At the time of posting review I am feeling bit negative moment but progress was okay.

      Friday, July 7, 2017

      Mala Ved Laagle Premache....

      Flashback:

      If you are my regular reader, you must have read that in my pregnancy, I used to have songs cravings... you see like... "I want to listen that song... NOW....and I MEAN NOWWWWW" and several times, I usually even didn't remember what "that" was...  I would just describe whatever I remember about the song... and then I would search it and off course listen it... This below song was my one of those "songs cravings" in pregnancy.

      As they say the cravings you get in the pregnancy are actually the desires of the baby... So I made a playlist of all these craving songs. Thing to note here is I was following all the GarbhaSanskar rules properly and very seriously (and yes, they resulted positively by blessing me an intelligent [rather over intelligent] baby... knock on the wood). One of it was listening to that GarbhaSanskar Mantras and music. It was mentioned to continue this when baby will be born and then baby identifies that music and stays calm etc etc. Alright, I got the point. So along with the GarbhaSanskar Mantras my baby was listening to right from Shakira, Jagjeet, Himesh and who not. So I made that playlist and when my son was born, I would use that playlist to make him calm and he would seriously sleep listening to those songs.
      One day one aunty came to see me and my newborn and after seeing this song was going on while I was rocking my baby to sleep, she was like "hey you should make him listen lullaby, not this kind of song...". "Oh seriously? He is my son and I know him more than you. We were communicating since the time nobody in this world has even seen him. I know what works for him... Okay? So thanks but no thanks..." Off course, I did not actually speak these words which were in my mind. I knew that aunty had visited to bless me and my newborn baby and I, like any other to-be mother was used to listen advice from *anybody* in the universe. Anyways, so song is very good and my son liked it from the time he was not even born. It's like "Pahla Nasha" love song... whenever you listen it, it will make you smile...I am going Crazy in Love...




      Well off course, I just like the song, music, lyrics... Video..umm.....Ah well... actually, I didn't like the movie as well... Rubbish...Your just kids... It's your age to do something productive, something good out of your life...and you are doing such stupid things... Obviously... love is being stupid... Love should be strength, not weakness... and in this age you don't understand that only love is not sufficient for the life. You should make your career first. And by the way, only love is not enough even in the lateral stages of the life.... Say for example your partner loves you but don't respect you... it doesn't last positively throughout the life... you lose your confidence and you had to actually spend your entire life to get your confidence..  just a min... am I talking on the similar note of Alia Bhatt in . Badrinath ki Dulhaniya...  Well, I didn't like that movie either... Nice girl but wrong boy...Comeon yaar... well that's my personal opinion about that movie...I know, Life is not movie but this point is perfectly valid in life. Trust me... I have seen this... it takes forever to get yourself back again...
       Oh God... long post... out of nothing... just a song... I think I should be sleeping now... Like my newborn baby, I will try to sleep to this song today... Good Night world...
       

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