Saturday, December 31, 2016

Happy New Year 2017

The living wall at the entrance gave me my smile... I have come to the right place baby... 


Hours spent to create a hairstyle and to get ready... to meet my bestie... who knew... how big task it would be for me to keep patience... to do that hairstyle... :) 


And then how long will I take to finish this much quantity...





And then New Year mood with the Mocktail..... Se* on the beach...


I have two 31sts very close to heart and 31 December is one of them... And my best friends make it perfect... Thank You Yaar.... 

Happy New Year 2017 World....  Thanks God... :)

Goals 2016 : Year End Review

Alright, so I just checked and I had not posted any goals on this blog this year... I guess I was too depressed to write anything may be... There is only one post in new year mood.. Anyway, but I will review the year with my goals mentioned in my journal.


Life :

I am independent and back to me again... The major thing in 2016, though this was not planned in goals initially and I didn't wished it this way but I had put my foot down and said, yes.. That's enough. Okay, let's not talk about that. Whatever is gone, is gone.

Health :

This was good actually. I had really good time health wise. Knock on the wood. I ate well, did some my kind of workouts too. 30-days water challenge, plank challenge were also good. Yeah, last one month my workouts are totally screwed for a reason but now I can resume again. Will be following the plan in new year too.


Financially :

Well, it was not good year but not bad either. It was okay okay. I did increase my investments in equity and debt assets as well. As I am aggressive investor, I had very little investments in debt and safe instruments. However, I had invested in them most this entire year. I wanted to generate a monthly steady income for my family in any worst scenario. I used investments like MIS, MIP, Jeevan Akshay VI for that. I also plan to write articles about these instruments soon.

Travel :

Though I didn't travel much but I did went to waterfall rappelling which was on my to-do list and it was awesome. Last year river rafting, this year waterfall rappelling... one in entire year? I know, this is very low speed. Now when I am feeling like a free bird, I am definitely heading towards more trips in the coming new year. In fact I am writing this post very early morning of a 31st December. But late last night I had checked for all the treks happening today in nearby area just to get last minute admission.


DIY :

A very bad year for my DIY creative things. Though I made few very nice pieces, they were not many.

Writing :

It was not good year for my finance articles. I also did not write this year for print media as well. Complete year wasted... :(  I have several plans now in new year.
Travel blogs -- I published few articles on my past and few current trips. I found a new career in writing travel articles. I would definitely love to travel and write after I retire. :)

Professional :

I had recently completed a major certification in my professional life. This was planned and that is checked. More on this in coming post.

Family and Friends :

I saw both the sides this year. My near and dear ones stood by me in my bad time and did support me. I also found that few of my friends avoiding me. Off course, reasons may be whatever, I am in such position now that whenever such thing happens, I feel question mark like is it because of my status. But then I am the same old person. What difference it make to them? And basically, if I get experience from 1 or 2 friends I can't label them all. But then these experience made me feel not to share my personal things.Also I have not yet figured it out whom to share and whom to not means who will be same with me and whom will be not. So, if a person is not close enough and ask something that I am not comfortable about, I just lie now. Sorry God.. But You understand why..and you too know that I will find out how to deal with this situation soon...

Anyway, great year for me. Had to end abruptly.

Friday, December 30, 2016

Happiness

I mean.... seriously...?  Are these Happiness posts, sometimes, are written for me only?



This is the latest one.... Alright, I get it God... Thanks. 

Life is Boring

Disclaimer : I am in no good mood and feeling very down at the moment because I am going to spend New years Eve alone... Well, I know, it may not be very big deal but the worst part for me which is breaking me inside is even my kid is not with me.. This is like... I don't have any words. So, if you don't want to feel negative, please don't read this post. I do have a great news to share but I will be doing that in some happy moment.

Have you ever felt loser kind of feeling when you see facebook pictures of your friends and their happening lives, or when you see a group of friends laughing loudly at some public place without worrying about anything or when you see some family in car or at shopping mall or at some picnic or a couple on a bike in romantic pose or say like there is no reason to go home.... I know, my heart is focusing on wrong things at this moment and I am also sure that I won't be in this negative mood for long time. I will be back to my jolly mood soon. But when you have none with you to celebrate something or no one to share something while whole world is in the some festive mood, it's very lonely feeling.
My coworker was upset since her friends went to some beach trip for new years without her. I told her that we could party together, her response was that will be super boring. I am experiencing this for long time now. Younger people even if they are my-type ones, they feel awkward with me for such fun activities. And my friends are always busy or with their families.. Yaar... I don't even have movies with me at this moment... I don't want to watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S or PLL... I don't want to watch idiot box either.

Now, I have actually planned few good things for quite some time now.  After the success (Hint: the great news story that I will be posting about in good mood), I had planned for many thing including few treks, adventurous activities, attending some live-in-concerts or plays, few spas, shopping for myself, some girly shopping, some me-time and what not. (Actually, everything I had felt in heart to do in last 2 months, had postponed it for after "success"). I have also my creative to-do list ready and want to make many things that wanted my time. But since I am upset, I am no creative at this time. I am not sleeping too. I actually want to spend my weekend with some of my planned tasks as above but I guess, it would be only grocery shopping, vegetables shopping, cleaning, organizing, cooking, washing and scrolling through other people's lives in feeds.

I know myself.... I know I wont be in negative mood for long. Just wanted to write it down to clear the clouds. Once clouds are clear, it will be sunshine again.


Saturday, December 17, 2016

Locha-e-Ulfat ho gaya...

One of my co-worker met me in washroom and said... Hey I was searching for you last few days... Do you know, there has been a new radio station in the city and guess what, it all plays your favorite songs. Do check it out and she gave me the band information. Oh Seriously... My favorite songs are anywhere from classical Laga chunari pe daag to Hemantda or anything... I love Himesh and Altaf Raja as well... Gajendra Varma and Sona too... so I was amused. The person has recently joined my office and hardly knew me. She was not even from my department, still she felt that those songs would be my favorite. Okay... so had to check out...  It was Love Special radio station.. Oh God.. Okay, I got it... When I get some song attack and I don't remember it's film or some other details, I may have just asked her... yes, that I do all the time...yes, I remembered... I had asked her about that Aise na muze Tum dekho, sine se laga lunga... the new version of the song... Alright, so this is sure shot station to listen in romantic mood and great thing is it's on for 24 hours. While I am keying in this post, the song that is being played on the station is Locha-e-ulfat ho gaya...



By the way, these radio stations can make it or break it... anything... A couple of days ago, weather forecast was given as it will rain. The weather seemed to be so since morning. But then when it didn't rain till afternoon, all the radio stations were playing only rain songs... and we were really feeling all that rain mood. Most of colleagues who were listening to radio happened to humming the same rain songs... and then in the night... it rained... in different part of city.. Our songs did work and it rained.. :)

Laughter and Tears for my Boy

So, it was my son's first performance on the stage. The pre-school he goes in, had annual day function and every student had participated in some or other performances. He was part of a group dance.

Off course, it was my kid's first performance in his life so I had to attend it. I had not kept any expectation, rather I was doubtful that these little kids were be able to stand up properly on the stage. I had already seen rehearsal in the auditorium where it was scheduled and I saw that all the tots were actually crying like they were crying on their school's first day because of the new place. Anyway, so my family had already in the audience and I came from workplace directly to join them. My younger brother had started passing comments on everything. Suddenly our childhood bro-sis bond was re-activated and the naughty role in me took over. We were judging everything in funny way. It was like live commentary. Right from the lamp lightening, welcoming, honoring the teachers everything was done by those little toddlers. We were laughing like how can someone expect 2-3 years old kids to perform ball dance or moonwalk... They could barely stand on the stage in front of so much audience... But still they were taught all those things and those kids were doing all their best. (I miss this being funny so much in recent time... Naughty me and naughty friends... doing all the naughty things... Right from school, college, all hostels, all workplaces I had always been part of that naughty people's group who prove their selves. ) Anyway, so we were not allowed to click photos or record any performance on our mobile phones and we started passing comments like how business can be done by this phenomenon and this time all the nearby people laughed since they were agreeing to the facts we were talking. We were supposed to buy these photos and cd at higher cost in the school later on.  Anyway, so point of whole drama is I was enjoying too much and laughing too much... just like me...the happy me...

And then... the announcement for my kids performance was done. When on stage those kids were brought by their teachers and since it was dark on stage we were trying to identify my kid. Finally the arrangements of performance were done and the lights were on... The song started... We are going to the market, we are going to the market...

Oh my God. There was my son...on stage ... dancing with his group...doing his steps with those tiny hands...turning around...legs moves....oh God...oh God.... God... please... oh God... you know... I.... I.... .... and I started crying....my laughing loudly changed to crying with tears silently.. oh God... I was actually crying hard......And then.... telepathy between us worked and my kid started crying on stage... Yes, he started crying....  Oh no...I should stop... I am sitting in audience in darkness but my kid is on stage in all limelight...I should have stopped crying but I couldn't..rather seeing him cry I was more upset... God... please...But then the whole performance he was crying...so was I.... God... you knew...  After the performance, I ran to backstage and took my son and hugged him tightly... We actually don't need words with the people we are most close, right? He was calmed down in a minute and we rushed back to my place in audience. Later we enjoyed all the performance and he too enjoyed everything. He started dancing in audience itself many times, he was playing there, eating snacks and what not. 

Program was really good. The whole theme was close to my heart ... Girls... It was save girl child, respect women etc etc. The 4 years old girls in LKG I guess, actually did a karate session there.. I was most happy with that performance. Everything was good. The lion dressed kid who was supposed to be the cruel and to threaten other animals dressed kids. But that lion's the lion-head-cap fell off and actually he took help from other kids to whom he was actually threatening in the performance. So there were so many funny moments. However, it was definitely the bright beginning of these kids future.

Do you expect any more words from me now?

Monday, December 12, 2016

When there is a Will but Many Ways... :(

Alright, so once again I am writing this that I am very bad at roads... I just don't remember roads and turns and diversions and squares and whatever comes on... If it is not my area I am definitely going to get lost somewhere in the road and after long time I will realize... Not Again... I am on wrong road... It may happen that I have passed so many times by some road  but there is strong possibility that I will lose my way even on that already seen road... Even Google Map don't work for me. :(

Whenever I am going on some new place, definitely I had to call someone when I am totally lost. One of my ex-colleague now is so used to this behavior that whenever I call her, she starts by asking, "yeah tell me where are you stuck now"... Whenever I am on my new extra assignment, everything goes well.. the only threat that I always have is finding the correct place correctly and that too in time. Just imagine, how would I feel if I prepared for say a coffee date all night and then I don't reach on time.

I really need to search sometime about this and find ways (again ways) to fix this thing up. With my kid growing up, now I can't afford to keep this habit as it is. Is it some kind of behavior that only genius people have? I have heard that Einstein was not able to tie his shoe lace. So, is there something where people get confused between roads?


Sunday, December 4, 2016

Rabba Luck Barsa....

I had slept among books, notes, mobiles, cds with no music around and then suddenly woke up humming this song...




How come? I don't even remember when this song was played last time on radio... I guess, it was the time when this film was released... and then today.... Anyway, I would say... may be my heart was missing Himesh... :)

Aur na Tarsaaa.... Rabba Luck Barsa.... 

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Happiness is ...... thehappypage

Alright so I am very busy and struggling studying for my examination, doing little things and family time but still the bad childhood habit of day dreaming while studying has started again. But grown up myself now find practical ways of letting feelings out and here is the result of one of them.

My posts are being published on the official Happy page. Yeipee...!!! I did submit few posts and even this morning I submitted a post. I just browsed the facebook Happy page and found that few posts were published already. My posts can be found in Happiness is column.

Now, thing is that the writer in me has woke up and I am finding creative opportunities everywhere . The newspaper today had some column where I can write. :). Obviously, not now.. may be sometime later... 

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Mai Tuzse hi Chup Chup kar

Lovely lyrics...  Beautifully sung...

Hawa ke jaise chalta hai Tu, Mai ret jaisi udti hu....
Mai Tuzse hi chup chup kar Teri Aankhe padhti hu...
Jis din Tuzko na dekhu, pagal pagal firti hu...
Kaun Tuze yu Pyaar karega... jaise mai karti hu...

This song is going to be definitely on my list to sing and record... 

 

I always love these Up versions songs. Feels like Relationship goals or something...

Demonetization and Money Matters

After our PM’s bold decision of demonetization, a different side of India is seen these days. People have suddenly started realizing the value of cash and whole marketplace has changed a lot.
We have been watching the news of people distributing water and tea to the people standing in long queues on the television.   But I myself have personally observed people helping others at various locations. When I went to fuel station to fill in fuel in my vehicle, one person had old note and he didn’t want to fill in full amount of fuel. The attendant was forcing to do so. Another person in the queue came to rescue and gave him the change of the old note. One of my relatives has actually waived off several bills in his hotel if person genuinely don't have new currency. In ATM queues, even though the queue was very long but when a pregnant lady came in the queue, automatically all the people ahead of her gave her way. I see strangers informing me about no money in ATM, even when I am looking at the ATM casually. Everybody is in the same situation and everybody understands that. J

There are many people who haven’t yet visited bank or branches…. And they are just adjusting somehow… and I am proud to say I am one of them…   If you are old reader of this blog, you know that I would plan and observe some n number of No Spend Days in given month in my monthly goals. So, I have survived till date without much cash. I only had problem initially for vegetables and grocery shopping.  I did search all my old jackets, purses, wallets, bags n what not for some little extra cash. I have totally avoided my monthly visit for grocery shopping to the wholesale market and to my surprise, it is going well. I am using all the items in my kitchen shelf for cooking.  I needed cash for some fees for my kids school too.  I have managed it by having some cash from a friend while I transferred same amount of funds to her account online.  Now since the month end is approaching, I will need to pay some of the bills in cash and that I need to take care. Well meanwhile, it doesn’t mean that I haven’t had my shopping attacks in this period. Yes, I have had but difference is I have spent considerably lesser amount in such time. I had looooots of shopping for me and my kid, all wrapped up in Rs.450 only.  Once when I am feeling very -- for myself and I have those “Bahut ho gaya, Now I have to have to have to spend on myself” wala shopping attack, I do buy anything, even if its not needed. Can you believe I have bought a little MAC Kajal of Rs.2400 when I had several types of Kajal already with me. But that’s fine. Such feelings come to me once in six months only.  (Whoo… what a relief… bank account saved…. J ).

Many local bodies have started with different offers where daily utilities are sold at some discounted rates, many shopkeepers, auto drivers have gone cashless after this decision and so on.  One of the radio stations is offering various vouchers for hoteling/salon/movies etc as their No CaSh November campaign.  Needless to say, I had already won one of these vouchers.  (Some of my old roommates just react by saying, do you still win at those contests?  J . Yes, Baby, you only win when you participate and I do participate. I don’t tell you about 18 times when I don’t win but I do announce those two times out of 20 when I actually win the prizes. So, people think that I always win. )

But because of all this situation, I got chance to review my investments and savings. Generally, I have tendency to “Invest and Forget”. Over the long run, it generally generates good returns. But in some cases, this doesn’t hold true and I have suffered losses too. This habit I will have to change. Once again, this thing was encountered. Had taken a note of this and will have to do something about this. 

Friday, November 25, 2016

If you want to be Strong, Learn to Enjoy being Alone…..with God... :)

 Alright, so this post may sound very silly and stupid.. well not actually silly and stupid… Because there are many people who don’t have this skill….Anyway, so it is very minor thing… But it has marked a milestone in my life…It’s driving.

Yes… I learnt car driving skill in my 2013 goals, I guess. But I was pregnant then and I couldn’t practice it for long time. I did drive around at my hometown, post-delivery months but I always had kept a driver with me throughout pregnancy and post-delivery. Still, I was okay but then when I came to this city again and I met an accident while driving. The people around me did not go well with me for that and that was it. I tried requesting for accompanying me when I would drive, just for moral support. But more than a year, my car was just parked in parking with all the dust lying. I had low confidence because of that accident say, so I alone didn’t dare to go for drive.

Anyway, so couple of days back I actually tried first time driving after gap of years and it was good actually…  I practiced for couple of days with my younger brother and then today I took my car to my workplace. I did chose odd hours so as to avoid heavy traffic. All my coworkers friends knew my driving stories and the fact that my car was parked for so long duration in my parking place that the car key didn’t work when I wanted to unlock it couple of months back. Whatever, fact is that I have driven the car today in traffic for good distance… alone… Last night when I announced that I was going to workplace by driving my car, I didn’t get positive response from around. Even my manager didn’t recommend so. Come on guys, it’s my life… n it’s my decision… I actually need winnings now.. in each little thing… I need confidence boost now…and this thing was going to give me just that…I knew, God was with me always… then there was nothing to worry… Last night I alone went to long drive in the traffic areas of city…and that’s it. Anyway, this may be very trivial thing but it made me extremely happy, once again feeling that I am getting myself back… One more step done for my self-growth, towards becoming independent.... once again..... I am feeling like the train of my life was stopped for some duration, now it has started again…

And yes, about driving, I did okay, I didn’t speed up anywhere, I was cautious everywhere and yes, I once again realized, I can’t park properly. I faced problems while parking the car. I did take help from a stranger. I don’t feel anything wrong in taking help from anybody.. Yey, I am not superwoman and I don’t even want to be. I have past that phase and am matured enough to accept who you are with your strengths and weaknesses. By the way, radio was on while I was driving, weird was the song it came that time when I was able to listen it. It was, Just Go to Hell Dil, from Dear Zindagi…What God wanted to suggest with this song to me?





Well, this song… at this moment? Well, okay… I like when heart gives us strength to work wonders but I also accept that at the same time heart gives lot of pain too. So, I don’t think we should tell heart to Go to Hell… J. Don’t go to hell Dil…. It’s okay… I understand… I love it when you give me happy moments…. then I should also know that there will be sad moments too. 

Anyway, so I will be seeing myself now going on long drive late in the night.... just to listen my Car wali playlist that I had created since I was in school or may be to eat a Kulfi, or somewhere far away... for a tea.... Enjoy Dear... You have all right to enjoy your life... God is with You... :) 

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Bichadi hui aaj mai Muzko mil gai

The Duniyadaari theory that I believe since childhood, we always get whatever we wish for.. The only catch is we don't get it at the time we want it... All our life is the struggle to get whatever we want at the time we want...Otherwise, when we get it, we don't have it's value. This is true for people too. When you value some one too much but you may not get the response you deserve at that time. After some time or say years, you get what you had dreamt once, but it's meaningless for you.

So though I did something very nice today which I was waiting for, the situation was not what I had expected. It's so little trivia thing that I can't even write it here... but I know how much it mattered to me.

Alright, cutting all my drama short, direct to the point, I did something that I had dreamt for years now. Early morning at 5 am I was living my dream and then this song accompanied me... Oh God... Thanks a lot...  :)



I know, everything is going to be positive in life now. 

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Don't give up on Faith

That's fact... I don't know how everything will be done. But I know strongly that whatever happens, God gives me strength to handle everything and everything works out to be perfect in the end. I know, I have a very bright future waiting.



Actually, thing is that, I just feel lonely when my kid is not with me and I can't do anything about it. :( Or is it just the insecurity feeling... I don't know... But it will definitely fade away with time as I manage to get over it.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Mere Paas hai Tu... Mere Saath hai Tu...


Do I have to say anything? It's lovely music... The feeling of the song is similar to Tum se hi... Taking Love as Strength and not weakness...and believing...
Ahh.. wait a minute... did I like the song or Akshay Khanna here?


Goals for the Month - November 2016

I know I am already late for posting goals but my goals are clearly set in the mind for this month.

There is just one and only one goal in the mind at this moment - My certification examination preparation.

I failed in a practice test, just a couple of days ago and I am damn upset with it. I am spending my nights in preparing and after this test where I failed I realized, that's not enough. Well, the practice tests before this particular test, I was able to do well. But then I tried an another website's free test and bang. I had ideas about my weak areas but this particular test, I think, everything was from weak areas only. I just had that college wali feeling, Yaar, sab option me dala hua hi aaya tha paper me.. :(

Alright, so that is my ultimate goal this month, I will just continue with my minimum 4-liters water drinking and then plank challenge. I will be trying to do my health related things but I am not sure since I would be mostly sitting in front of system and reading, practicing the tests

Anyway, all the best to me..

Monday, October 31, 2016

Goals of the month - October 2016 - Tracking

After long time I had posted my goals of the month here and end of the month today so here I am tracking.

  • Plank Challenge : I do not want to start with bad thing first but this is not a complete success this month. Well, I have valid and genuine reasons for the failure. I did it with all my heart and core regularly sharp for more than half the month. Then because of menstruation cycle and all the PMS things I did take a break from of all straining exercises and that was it. Because of gap, later I forgot it for couple of days and then when I picked it up again, I got injury which is not letting me do the planks at the moment. I am taking up this again for next month but I will plan that break in the planning phase itself. So percentage of the activity completed this month... 65%  
  • No Added Sugar : This has gone pretty well. As I had already stated, I just stopped adding sugar. This led me drink coffee, tea without sugar for few days. But later I did quit tea too. Well, off-course, it means only at home and in the office. It did happen couple of times when I did go outside with my colleagues for drinking tea with sugar. Anyway, I am not addicted to tea/coffee or I don't have any sugar problem. I just wanted to check my control and I think I passed completely in that. Once again proved, I can eat/drink anything which don't have standardized taste. So, this activity completed with 100 % success. Not a single time I added sugar. 
  • Spiritual Activity :  Done completely. It did take me a lot of efforts (sleepless nights actually, had to give up cooking for some time) to finish this. But done finally. Completion Percentage - 100%
  • Investments : After lot of research, I did invest in Birla Sun Life MIP Wealth 25 plan as one of my birthday gifts to myself. Completion Percentage - 100%.
  • Publishing Articles : This was actually my bad planning. I am already preparing for some examination and the study is vast, I am seriously not getting any time for anything else. So, this has failed tremendously. I just did 1 article and then I had wrapped up the setup for now. I have no plans to open it up till I pass my examination. Status - Failed. 10%
  • Project for a new client : I did outsourced this one and pocketed the difference. At present the customer seems to be satisfied but I feel he will come back again with more requirements. 
  • Youtube video : I have recorded several videos but editing and publishing to youtube is still in my plate. This is tougher with a toddler running around in the home. Completed - 25%.
I also continued with drinking 4 liters of the water challenge and it was worked out well.

Seems like I need to plan now keeping my examination preparation well in my mind. 


Sunday, October 30, 2016

Different Diwali

As mentioned earlier, I am not in very much festive mood this year. This is first and hopefully last diwali when I am all alone. Off course, that is also because of me. I chose this. Actually, I am preparing for an examination. I didn't want festive mood at home should ruin my all studious mood.

Anyway, being main day of diwali today, everybody around was celebrating and I was feeling too much lonely. I did call few of my good friends... As expected, everybody was busy with their lives and celebration. I just wished them. Checking messages was again stressful because of hundreds of similar messages... So, I took my bike and just stepped out for my random long ride. You know, it always works for me. Visited all my regular temples, the biggest one in the city too done. I was observing all the people shopping around and the crowd moving slowly.

Then come a place in the city where few families stay in a tent. I am not sure, if they are same families each time but at times I have seen there are few tents of clothes and few families which sell the seasonal items like say lanterns in diwali season or Indian flags around Independence day time. I have helped some families here some time. Few of my extra assignments payment I do regularly spend on some families here. And it clicked me suddenly. Oh God, why I didn't had this thought earlier? I just went ahead to an hotel. I packed few lunches in parcel, bought few sweet boxes, bought few balloons.... (balloons, yeah... those kids should be able to play with these balloons). I came back and parked the bike. I did call one of the kids there and he came to me and looking at things in my hands, he called couple of more people and then they took those things from me. They started eating food right away, happily. I suggested in low voice to distribute with everybody in family. I was feeling awkward, though I had bought several lunches, will they be sufficient for them? Anyway, I couldn't stop there for a complete minute. To see them eating happily, I left. I was feeling better.

I found myself again. This is me.... the real me...The one with all positive nodes...The one always happy and happening...   I don't want to feel emotional while sitting alone and do stupid things and then feel embarrassing about it. Feeling good now. Happy Diwali...

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Crushing Hard scenes according to Pretty Little Liars...

Apart from reading and music, Pretty Little Liars is one of the very few things which actually can hook me to my seat and can make me stay awake whole night.

I have actually spent many late nights watching Pretty Little Liars and then recreating them in my workplace with co-workers. I became emotional with Hanna's bond with her mother. I was not surprised when I found Spencer, in her teen's had her bucket list TODO, I always loved the fact how strong Emily is. Well, about Alison, I have mixed feelings. For Aria and Mike relationship, I always related my relationship with my younger brother.  I was actually jumping with joy when Ezra proposed Aria in this season's first half. Oh God... It's been 7 years, this series is part of life now.

The first half of the last season of PLL is already finished and all PLL fans are waiting with mixed emotions for April 2017 for its last season's second half.



Anyway, so this week's PLL's feed has given an interesting post that we actually could relate to.... :)

It's 15 things happen when you are crushing hard on someone ...  We all have been there... right...? :)

PLL shoot has officially wrapped up this week. While I do watch PLL star casts good bye messages with sad face, I am waiting eagerly for #PLLEndGame.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Khamosh Chehra.... Aankhon pe Pehraa...

I knew it already.... :)

Good Morning and Happy Diwali....



Diwali

Diwali festival has started officially from today and I am just not in mood of any celebration. I am feeling very upset and have no intention of celebrating Diwali. Just before few years, I used to be super excited where right from painting diyas, lantern making, selling diwali items to everything in Diwali I used to enjoy. And this year, I am feeling just to stay lonely somewhere....

There are some issues in the life that I am sorting out and though I am feeling I am coming out of the tunnel now... its the darkest at the moment. This darkness shall pass on soon. Heart knows that I have bright future waiting for me... However, brain doubts it. I don't want to disturb anybody's life so I am facing all it alone. Actually I know that everything happens for better purpose in life and I have the BEST waiting for me. All my family and friends say that I am very strong person... May be it's just late night time which is making me feel write in such negative tone...

Yes... I know myself very well... I can't stay upset for more time. May be I will wake up in the morning with very special dream and singing some super romantic song in heart... May be, I will be all dressed up for diwali... roaming on the roads on my bike singing I don't wann go home... :) Yeah... may be... let's see...


Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Tera Chehra jab najar aaye...


Meri bechainiyon ko chain mil jaaye.... Tera Chehra jab najar aaye... 


Monday, October 17, 2016

Tu jo nahi hai...




Landlord of one of the homes that I had lived in would used to listen this song whole day...




Monday, October 10, 2016

Dandiyaa Fever....

Last few days India is celebrating Navratri festival. The festival is basically worshiping of Godess Durga Mata. There are many stories about the history of the festival.These 9 days many people do fasting for all 9 days, some have fasting on first and last day, many people don't wear footwear.  About clothes, each year there are some colors pre-decided as per some custom for Navratri. People wear those colors on those day. I do follow the color patterns strictly for last several years. It feels like Unity somewhere... You suddenly feel soft corner even with a stranger on the road, just because of the same color worn.

Dandiya Raas is an important part of this festival and that's where my heart goes. I have been grown in the family where ANYTHING happy happens, family members do the Dandiya and garba dance. It is very common in small towns. But here I see there are many events organized for the Dandiya raas and DJS and music systems and all arrangements. But it don't have that dance which a simple dhol music can follow. Anyway, with time celebrations change.

The last day of the festival will be Vijayadashmi or also known as Dashara....symbol of the victory of good over bad. My colleague who has just came out of her hometown was homesick because of the festival. I remembered my first dashahra here and I did feel I was so much home sick. When you are at home with family and you celebrate a festival you don't value it much. But when you are away from family you start missing your family too much at the time of festival.

Alright, there are many famous songs which are generally played while playing Garba and Dandiya. Here is one of them. It's by Falguni Pathak who is famous mostly for singing Navratri songs

Mood ke jo dekha Tum na the Sainyaa... mai sharmayee muze ye kya hua re...



While I am dancing in the Dandiya raas that I go to, I off course enjoy it a lot but I do also have a feeling of calories spent now... :) How much calories will be spent if I dance for say 2 hours! 

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Is it me you looking for?

Looked at old favorite songs folders. I didn't actually saw the list or listen anything from those folders list but now I am feeling was this I looking for..
I am studying a course and I need such music while studying... silent....


30 - Days Plank Challenge - Day 1 & 2

I did full plank and elbow plank for both of these days. Below is the screenshot from mobile application.


This was weekend. Let's see how it goes in weekdays. 

30 - Days Plank Challenge

I have been thinking about this challenge for quite some time now but I personally didn't feel that planks will make any positive change in my health. But after reading a bit  I thought to give it a try. Anyway, I don't have to invest much time in it so giving it try.  Here is the challenge.



To track the progress, I have actually installed a mobile application " 30 day Plank" in my smart phone and I am planning to actually track the challenge in it. Let's see. Get set go.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

Goals of the month - October 2016

After long time I am actually posting my goals here...

October will be month of festivals, celebrations and my birthday... So, I need to finish the things that I had planned before my birthday. There are some other spiritual activities also planned already for this month. My kids first examination in his life is in this month. I need to give time to him too. Hence, I am not taking too much in my plate. I don't want to take so much and not finish it. Here my list goes that I have in my mind at this moment. I may add/remove items from this later as per situation. I will update it here.

  • First of all, after the success of 30 - days water drinking challenge, time for another challenge. I had plank challenge in my mind since long time and by co-incidence, I read about it again on this blog post. Decided, I am doing this 30 - day Plank Challenge for next 30 days. (In fact, since I am posting my goals in the night, I had already done with day 1 challenge task). I will be posting details about this soon.
  • Another challenge that I am not going to do very hard core but I just am planning to stop taking extra sugar in my cup. I am NOT going sugar less, actually I don't need to be. I will off course eat/drink sugar in whatever food/drink I consume. I just want to cut my habit of taking extra sugar. 
  • I am already doing one spiritual activity this month which ideally runs over 21 days. But since this is religious activity, ladies have to manage the activity as per their menstruation cycle. In project management terms, will need to add more efforts to reduce the schedule. This is going to take a chunk of my time. But at this moment I need this.  I need something that will help me get more focus and clarity about everything.
  • About investing, I need to search for a good annuity plan or some income fund and invest in it. From quite some time I am trying to create monthly income by such investing. Before birthday, I am planning for a little bit big amount investment as one of my birthday gifts to myself.
  • Okay, I do write many things on many websites and many times I have done ghostwriting but now I am feeling to get my brand in the world. I want to post by my name now. Last month I did post on a couple of websites with my name and I want to continue the same thing this month too.  I have written several articles which are not yet published. So my priority is finding good platform to publish them. I plan to publish at least 7 articles this month. 
  • I have landed a project in my to-do list that I need to finish this month. It's not huge task but it's different technology so just need to learn something new. I am planning to finish that before mid of this month. This project is the first one from a new client so will need to take care of other aspects as well. 
  • I am planning for creating a video for myself as my birthday gift to myself. I will be uploading it to youtube.  It's being long time I haven't recorded and posted anything on youtube.


Thursday, September 29, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Result

I started this challenge on 24th of August for 30 days. Since fasting days and the emergency days in hospital/home I was not able to follow the challenge, I did delay the deadline and today challenge ends officially.

Yipeee!!! I did 5 litres today. Now, overall progress....
I was able to drink 4 liters for ALL these days. At some days I actually finished 5 liters too.

Change in me?

Okay, as I had already written, I just expected me to drink water even on my busy days (normal days and not the emergency ones)  and I did that successfully. I generally drink out my emotions in water so that too I increased so that my water intake will increase.

Bonus Benefits...

Okay, now I know these are not only because of this drinking water challenge, and I am not at all claiming them for drinking enough water. But these are few things that I experienced recently.
1) I have lost some of my post-pregnancy weight. Wohooo...! I am so glad to say this. I was actually fitting in my old clothes last few days, my brain understood this thing but still when I actually saw that number on scale today, I was too happy to believe. Anyway, I am not that much fat or something but yes, I do have belly fat, all thanks to baby delivery..and that's the only thing I would want to reduce.
2) I don't actually thought this would happen but I am being questioned for the secret of the glow on my face. Ahh... really? Huh.. huh...  :)
3) I have got compliments recently that I have got such a lovely hair! Oh yeah...I know... but keep saying that... :)

Anyway, so my point is only that all these things got definitely some benefit from my drinking water challenge. My challenge just don't end here... I will be continuing drinking water same way... It has become habit now. I am crossing off one more thing from my daily TODO list which became habit and doesn't need any more to be on my official "TO-DO" list because it will be obvious.

Dreamy Eyes....




Alright,so if you have known me for some time or if you are my long time reader, you know dreams are an important part of my life. I ACTUALLY see the dreams which somehow sketch my current and future life. It is said that dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you... I truly believe... I have actually spent so much time in past just to understand the meaning of the dream I had... Well, now I don't do it much often ...



And then I get musical dreams too. Being a music lover, I ACTUALLY hear music in my sleep. May be my heart is actually singing but I really feel that I am hearing the music ( Well, this fact played major role in my pregnancy period. About that, may be sometime later...)




Alright so today early in the morning, I had a Lovely dream with background music of this song Dil Duffer. Come on... I haven't even heard this song for long time. Wait -a - minute!

Oh.My.God! Brain didn't even accept that heart was behaving Duffer but in sleep it has not only accepted but it's playing music too. Obviously, so even before cooking food,  my first task this morning became actually listening to this song. I was also missing my ex-colleague friend. She used to love this song and we would discuss anything...like how stupid songs we listen...  any stupid thing on the planet...without judging each other... and would laugh out.
                      

Anyway  I was thinking that, in my dreams all the people are so much lovelier than they are in real life...Or is it the fact that all the people are actually lovely and nice. There are just situations which don't bring out the nice or lovely person in them for a given time when I am with them may be. Because, as I always say, I only meet good people in life. Knock on the wood but everybody I encounter anywhere is nice somewhere.

Just a thought came, in school, I used to do telepathy experiments with my best friend.... may be my dreams are outcome of that kind of thing.. because in my dream, even the person who talk less in real life keeps chit-chatting. Anyway, my mood is good, I am all dreamy and I am not letting anyone and I mean anyone...ruin that mood today... Okay? Have a Dreamy Day....!

Thursday, September 22, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day... have to count

Okay so may be I don't actually remember the number of the day of the month but update is I drank 5 liters of water today. Also had tea, green tea and soup, 2 cups each. 

There is better place then this emptiness

I never realized when this Gajendra Varma came on my list...that too so much... that I actually go and search for Emptiness to listen...

There is better place then this emptiness...

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Drinking Water Challenge and Life Update

Alright so good things first... I did extremely well on the water drinking challenge and was successful finishing at-least 4 liters each day.  Exception : fasting days --2 - which were seen unseen actually... so it was kind-a planned. Another was an emergency in life...

Alright... so emergency was my little kid was hospitalized due to convulsion. This was first time he had this thing and in my entire life I had not seen anything like that. My younger brother or even my mother had not experienced such thing before so when did it actually happened, WE WERE SCARED and I was breathless. Okay so here is flashback...

That early morning, my boy came closer to me in the bed and I felt him warm. The night before we had gone out late in the night to see the Ganeshotsav celebrations and he had done so much fun that he did not slept even after past midnight. So in my morning sleep my brain little bit realize that my kid may have fever since I was feeling something warm. But before I woke up he suddenly got up with jerk and then he had rolled his eyes up, his hands and legs were stiffened and he was not responding at all... he was not even listening to me... he was not even looking at me... he was not even recognizing me... me... I am his mother... I think I am his world... now...  I was .. I mean.. I cant say...I don't even want to remember those moments... I was simply shocked, breathless. My younger brother and I took my kid in hand we rushed to nearest open hospital. My younger brother and I kept talking to my kid, I kept rubbing him all over his body, we knew one thing that we shouldn't let my kid close his eyes and so we were trying hard, by speaking, doing fun and many things while my brother riding his motorcycle. He was still not responding to anything. The nearest 24-hour open hospital staff looked at my kid and suggested to take him to 2 big names of the hospitals in the city. Oh God.. We still ran and continued our journey to the nearest hospital. Well, at this time suddenly, he produced a sound from mouth and I was bit relieved, he responded.... I kept on talking and rubbing and within few minutes he started crying.. Oh God.. I was more relieved... I felt my kid was back from where he has gone for those few minutes...  I just jumped from the motorcycle and looking at me the security guard automatically opened emergency ward door and there we were... The staff attached him few machines and monitored his pulse rate. I was not understanding a word there... 94-96... Oh God, I thought why I dont have knowledge about these medical things... I was not understanding anything. The doctor who had seen him first has gone to call some another doctor and those sisters and brothers were just looking at those machine readings.. I was worried and the mother in me roared... "Will you please do something"? and then that nurse brother took cold water and sprinkled it over my kid's body and guess what he was back and I felt he was normal now. Yes, my kid was recognizing me and was talking to me. Oh God... Thank You so much...  This is second time when I never realize till such emergency that how much I love my kid.
Alright so normal stuff then. Dr. explained us the thing and we hospitalized him. Initially he was too resistant since he wanted to go out but later he got used to it. I actually have recorded him doing all fun in his hospital bed. By God's grace, he didn't have any convulsion later. He did get fever but his highest fever (even just after convulsion) was 101 so I quite didn't understand the relation between fever and convulsion but what I understood now is never ever let him catch the fever. If he is warm or feeling fever is going to catch him just sponge it, let him bathe with cold water, do whatever but temperature should not increase.
Okay so that was different experience in the hospital. First day, first few hours even when  my kid was sleeping I kept worrying. My walking while worrying habit when did came back I too didn't realize. Then there was one sad experience too. One fellow patient, who was 4 years kid died. His father was young man, he was alone and seemed some villager. He didn't even had mobile balance to call his relatives and then that news. We could see that hospital had done it's best but that man lost his child. Few hours later when I saw him, he was still completing the legal formalities with a stone in heart. Oh God...
And then there was all kind of people in the hospital. I met one typical --- kind of lady who had husband hospitalized with cancer but she was more worried with the fact that I had wore same Yoga pants for 3 days. What? Are you serious? I was sleeping when all this thing happened and I rushed here. When my kid became normal, I wore jacket n etc that my mother carried later. Then even though my mother was carrying my clothes to hospital in her visits I didn't feel to change and I don't find anything wrong in that. I was not even thinking about my clothes until the time that lady pointed it out.  Aye Hello.... okay, these are decent yoga pants and I am comfortable in them and by the way what I wear is none of your business... Off course, I didn't say all this..I knew she had bigger problems in her life than my yoga pants.  I just smiled wide and wished all the best to her.
My kid is better now. He did feel fever upto a week later but no convulsions. Knock on the wood.
Anyway, so back to drinking water challenge.. The challenge was failed drastically for those 3 days. The first day I didn't even had a single glass of water. Fourth day onward I picked up challenge back and finished 4 liters each day. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 15 & 16

Back on track now... I am consciously drinking water and once again eating... Completed 4.1 liter yesterday and 4.3 liters today. 

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

I did complete my goals for 10, 11, 12 and 13. For 14th I had fast so no water intake. But I won't consider it as failure. It was planned... rather more than 1 day was planned for fasting.  Okay, health is concern now and I am not in my best of health. Time to take care of self. 

Friday, September 2, 2016

What is that one last address in your life?

As stated earlier, these days because of the festival going on, we are supposed to spend as much time in soul purification. Obviously, I am dedicating considerable amount of my available time in my religious activities. After visiting temple, there is Vyakhyan or Pravachan as some people call it going on and I should be attending it. In this, a Guru - master guides on few aspects. Due to many things I am not able to attend it completely but I do my best as I can before going to work.
So one of the points that I liked today was the MaharajSaab (Master) did ask a question...." Who is that one last address in your life whose whatever thing said, you will be obeying it 100% without doing any arguments or applying any logic?".
Oh. My.God. Not even my kid has that. But wait, yes, I do have it my life....

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 8 & 9

So, actually I did finish 4 liters of water both of these days though I didn't actively drink water. There was no taste of water, there was no happiness.  It was just like an unwanted task. Yes, I am feeling very guilty to have food and water when my parents are doing fasting. This guilt is not letting me to eat anything. I didn't had my breakfast for last 3 days or not eating lunch too. Off course it is affecting  my health and it started my coughing. Whenever I starve, I get coughing too much. Anyway, so I know that my body is not fit for all this "Tap" and fasting and that's the reason I don't do them too much but this time I am having this guilt feeling all over of not doing fasting. These days also informs me how much I am dependent on vegetables and fruits and how I am habitual to keep eating all the day. Oh God.

Monday, August 29, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 7

Day 7. Our 8-days festival has started and as expected, this was tough. I just barely completed 4 liters. Actually, I was feeling to have fasting and the fast I was thinking about was without food and water and water if drank it should be hot water. So half of the day I didn't had anything. But then bad day.... so tried to eat.. but anyway, couldn't eat too. But dragged myself to complete bare minimum 4 liters. I also drank  tea and milk 1 cup each. 7 Down....But at this moment I am sure and I know that when I will be doing fasting which definitely at least is last day, this challenge is gonna fail. So, I am already upset by the fact that I am going to fail. Today was really not good day. Everything was bad and I have got the negative feeling all over. Ok, fine... take a deep breath.... Stay calm and everything will be fine. 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 6

Day 6. I actually did set reminders to drink water since I was very busy. Well, but 4 liters done. I also drank  tea, green tea 1 cup each. 6 Down.... 24 to go... And now tough days are coming... Tomorrow onward...  Let's see... 

Saturday, August 27, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 5

Day 5. I actually did set reminders to drink water since I was very busy. Well, but 4 liters done. I also drank  tea, green tea 1 cup each. 5 Down.... 25 to go... 

Friday, August 26, 2016

Dahi Handi - Janmashthami Celebration

It was the festival of Janmashthami in India yesterday. It is marked as the birth of lord Krishna. Well, I have already written on this years ago. Just wanted to post this picture since after many years again, I went to see the actual celebration. I wanted to show it my kid and he was happy and I was happy to get that feeling again.


30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 4

Day 4  not yet completed but I have already drank 5 liters of water. I also drank  tea, green tea 1 cup each. 4 Down.... 26 to go... 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Friends


Okay, so subconscious mind keeps what all things in storage. Just woke up middle of the night with heart singing this song which I had not even heard in years... yes...years... how come it came in mind, no idea... We were in college and we used to bunk lectures and used to go to some friends home for group study and this movie was one of them whose songs we would be playing on repeat. Only fun and laughter and masti.

Because of this song, I contacted all my friends in group and said hi... I actually was missing all the friends. The gang of girls was All rounder. All types of girls were in my group... intelligent, genius, dumb, studios, dramebaaz etc.  We used to participate in each and every event that we come across and at-least somebody from group would win some prize.  Since I was the only working in the group at that time, obviously, most of the times, I used to be sponsor of all the fun things. Being a local television personality, many people used to identify me while we would be in group. But I used to be dressed up as Tom-Boy with my group and total girlie-type (with all makeup and all) while on camera so my friends used to lie to the people that TV person was actually my twin sister and we again would laugh harder later. Oh my God... so many memories... Now, we keep planning our get-together which never happens. Well, we had done a try few months back where some of us met with our children and we only know how much things we had to manage and take care for that one lunch. That's life now.



I actually had decided that I would meet at least some of friends one-on-one in August, but met nobody yet. Chatted with many and planned lunches, coffees, shopping but no execution yet. Need to add in actual TODO list  and I will track then. 

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 3

Day 3  not yet completed but I have already drank 4.5 liters of water. I also drank coffee, tea, green tea 1 cup each. 3 Down.... 27 to go... 

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 2

Day 2  not yet completed but I have already drank 4.2 liters of water. I also drank soup, tea, green tea 2 cups each. 2 Down.... 28 to go... 

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge - Day 1

Day 1 completed with 4.3 liters of water. I also drank soup, tea, green tea 2 cups each. 1 Down.... 29 to go... 

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

30 - Days Water Drinking Challenge

Drinking water... We need to need drink water to stay alive. What's challenge in it? Right question.
Generally, I do drink good amount of water daily. But this is not the case on my busy days. Whenever I am busy, may it be on work or doing chores at home on weekends, I do skip water, which I shouldn't.  I do not actually expect tremendous change in me or any quantifiable benefits from this challenge I just want to make this habit even on my busy days so I will go for the challenge.

In my initial days of the career, my boss observed that I was more productive when I was participating in any competitions or something like that. Obviously, being a good leader he used this quality for getting his job done but his this observation was news to me too. (Really good manger, isn't it?) Later I had also used my this behavior in doing good things. In recent past in April, I did entered a challenge where I had to earn a specific amount of extra income doing freelancing n other things. And actually, I was able to achieve it. I was amazed since number was not seemed to be achievable at first glance. But I did start a blog only for that purpose and posted daily progress on it... and it was done well before time... Obviously, it increased my confidence and added one more thing in my "can do" list.
Anyways, so coming back to the point...I read about this challenge in Happy Healthy Mama's blog post.. . I have read about this several times in past but this time I am actually doing it.

So, whats my challenge? Here are my rules. I will be drinking 4 liters a day for the next 30 days. In fact, I can count last 2 days as well since I had drank 4+ liters but since I failed to post this blog post in last 2 days so my punishment is I will start from today. For next 30 days, I will be monitoring and tracking my progress. I will also post here whenever possible. At this stage, I  hope I will be doing good except I fear for 9 days. This month has a festival where around 9 days I will be not actually fasting but will be trying my best to minimize my intake of food and water. I will be having my water only in certain period of these days so I need to take extra care in these days. These days are only risk that I can foresee at this moment. Rest all should be fine. I have cleaned well my copper water bottle of 1 liter for this. So, get set go... All the Best Girl....

Friday, July 29, 2016

Using Love Feeling Wisely...

A friend of mine has recently shared something to me about Love and Life and wanted my inputs. Oh God... and I realized once again ... how much I love being in love... in love... with myself... and it really does wonders. Haven't you experienced when you are all sad and negative about your family, job, life and everything around, life is just hail and everything bad happens. But when you love yourself and are looking with all the "Pinky" eyes, everything is good. Even the bad thing happens shows you the good side only.

My friend was like the biggest pain in life is because of love. Biggest in life...??? Come on, grow up yaar... My friend is not matured enough, I understand but his point was the pain because of love. Yes, off course,  it gives lot of pain... It hurts a lot...Definitely, the one whom you love most will hurt you the most.... because you care. But you can make it your strength too. Make it your strength, use it positively and it can make wonders.

I am drowned in work badly and at one point I just feel so tired. I somehow start listening to all Romantic songs and guess what... everything is changed. Not that it finished my work magically but off course it gave me positive energy and enthusiasm to finish work fast. I just love this chemical hormone which does this love sort of changes in mind.

 After so many years, I heard this... Teri yaadoein me kat jaaye din, duaa me sari raat gujre...


30 Before 30 list is still on

So what I had baby and had some break in all my life.... I am back from my postnatal depression now and I am trying hard to actually getting my life again as I always wanted it. There are Ups and downs in life but not all the things are bad. I have achieved many good things as well and I am back again to the front... all me... and confident again....
It's okay if I couldn't complete the list before turning 30.... at least I have my list ready, off course I am gonna add many things in it now. 

Friday, July 1, 2016

Wo ja raha hai mera Hero.....

Radio is part of my heart since childhood. It was and is always with me... Through my childhood days, teens years, dreamy years and working time... It is always with me. I have such a bond with radio and it too understands me so well that sometimes it just plays my heart out... :)


Thursday, June 30, 2016

Ankhose bhiga bhiga Pyar bah jaata hai...

As I am very much fond of TO-DO lists and create list of almost anything. I had created a list of TODOs recently which has tasks which will somehow add to my workout plan. I had added a task as dancing on a song to it. I dance alone whenever I am happy but adding this task to my daily list has showed that even if I am not happy and if I am dancing, it makes me happy. I think it must be releasing that serotonin - the happy hormone.
Anyway, so even though this song was not actually dance song, but I get to dance only in alone time and which is limited, had to dance whatever available on television or radio. So, this was song yesterday and though I had heard it several times before, these lines had caught my lips today. Arjit Singh is really good, right? I have missed this film. Have to watch.


Well, about lyrics of the song, I again started adding gazals feeling in it. Long time, I haven't written anything.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

School Days.... Again...


My boy will be going to school for first time in few hours from now.  I attended parents meeting today for first time in my life. I am like mixed of emotions. I am feeling like it is an end of an era and now another life of him will start. I don't know he will be crying on his first day there or not but I am sure, I will be crying somewhere in some corner. The mother in me is strong but still bit emotional. I don't know what future has in store for us but whatever it is, it will be for our betterment.

This boy is the one who made me stronger inside. I started being firm, taking stand for myself from the time this kid was in me... even when I was not aware about that... So, it was like, he came to give me inner strength... to become me again.... I am becoming myself again.... 

Monday, May 9, 2016

Ishq Bulaava....


Wednesday, March 9, 2016

The Final Count Down


Since morning my heart was singing “We are leaving together… still its farewell…” I was not able to remember complete stanza or any other line from the song.  I didn’t remember what was this.  But it was continuous banging in my head… so now I googled it… n guess what… it is lyrics from “Its The Final Count Down…”… I just was amazed… I don’t know how come…  This song came in my mind…I was not thinking about it… I had just forgotten it… Last time my heart was singing this song just like this was more than 2 n half years ago…

Before my baby was conceived....  This time, God knows what is this count down for...



 

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Life is gonna change a lot soon..

ख़ामोश सा माहौल, और बेचैन सी करवट... ना आँख लग रही है, ना दुपहरी घट रही है...

There is a major change in life that is coming in recent future, as per my sixth sense. My heart knows it,however brain doesn't. I am going through all the pain, fear, worries and sadness all alone. People who are always there for me, I don't want to trouble them with worry and the person who I am trying to express, doesn't understand. It's been long time like I am feeling so lonely.

 

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