Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Shhh..... My Heart will Listen....

Good Memories... Lovely ones... You want to cherish them forever...

May be you know and understand your loved one now more than in the days you met initially... and the love has just blossomed... But still you are more in love with that person when your love was in initial phases... May be your loved one would be sending you flowers regularly, but still you have preserved the first rose he had gifted... May be your loved one would be caring for you, doing all household chores for you when you are not able to do them now, may be taking care of your kids,  but still when you look into the eyes, you may see the person with "Usne Baat ki kuch aise dhang se" feeling...the initial days when you were dating....the "first love" feeling. But they don't let the other person know all that. They keep on screaming on them, getting angry over little things, fighting with them.... sometimes may be without reason... and they understand it deep in heart.

Actually, these people are bit secretive... They won't accept it to themselves easily... The person will be loving the loved one more and vice a versa but they won't let the person know "how much" they love... Its always... I Love You More than You Love Me.... But they won't accept it....
May be there is a fear....may be the fear of loss...  If they accept it to themselves, it will all be gone away....

Like this song above... This is not the song my heart or deeper insider heart is singing right now... but just my inner heart don't want it to let even my heart know, so this is the cover...

I was wondering... if my baby would be understanding me... and my deep emotions... 

Friday, August 16, 2013

My First Car

After doctor has advised me not to travel by 2-wheeler or autorikshaw, here comes my first car.

The expenses are too much high at this point and definitely going to increase in near future... Yet, I would just say, this purchase was only after full research and considering various options and requirements... I found this THE BEST!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Sensitive..... Myself....

I am now one step ahead through the phase of all confusion, happiness, sadness and all mixed emotions after knowing I am pregnant. Now that I have accepted the fact there will be changes in my body, in my life and with my emotions too... I never thought of I would become so much emotional.

Though its true, in this phase, at one moment I am just angry with whole world or more correctly saying angry with myself (for may be I am not able to do the things as previously) and at other I am on top of the world.... At one moment I am excited about eating something but the next moment I am sad on myself since I am not even able to bear the smell of it. At one moment, I am angry with my near and dear ones because, they don't understand how I am feeling.... (: ( )  and I can't explain.

But myself and crying.... Impossible... But this is happening.
It was first time noticed when I received this video in my whatsapp and I actually cried after seeing it.

I mean, yes, its touching but I am crying to see this.... This is too much.. I know, it's just an act performed but still.. So I was mad at myself because of this only.
Wait, but this was just beginning... Next day while watching the film 'My Name is Khan', I teared down again. God... No... I have seen this film many-times before and I had never cried... whats now all this going on... I don't want to cry on such stupid things.... whats happening to me... I know I am very Rough and Tough and now what all girly things like crying are happening... Somebody had told me that yes, while nature is converting you in a mother, nature first makes you sensitive... but this is too much... Is this side effect of the medicines I am taking...?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


However, it was or is hard for me. I never thought it will be so difficult to handle. This early phase is troubling me too much.
Anyway, now I feel that I am okay now, though doctor has not confirmed yet....
So after two more tests, it will be official, but couldn't resist to share...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

My 30 Before 30 Dreams

Alright, so as I had mentioned last week, I had finalized on my 30 things TODO list before I turn up 30. I will try to achieve all the things. But wherever I am feeling doubt, I had kept alternatives. Good thing is that I have nothing to lose. I will only win in all the cases. So below goes my official 30 before 30 dreams list.

1.       Publish a book of Recipes.
2.       Publish a book of Mummy's g designs.
3.       Publish a book of Rangoli.
4.       My own album as a singer.
5.       Get a handycam. I want to shoot most of my moments.
6.       Painting. I want to create a big painting for my home.
7.       Taking family and friends at pilgrim place.
8.       Be a columnist in a newspaper or magazine.
9.       Win a competition of photography anywhere and get a DSLR camera.
10.   Win a singing competition anywhere.
11.   Chanting 2000*108 mantras.
12.   Publish ebooks on technical topics.
13.   Go on family vacation with my mother and father.  
14.   Mediate daily to find myself.
15.   Learn a new language.
16.   Learn a form of dancing
17.   Talk with a friend and relative once in a week
18.   Write handwritten letters twice in a month
19.   Grow 30*3= 90 plants
20.   Read 50 books.
21.   Walk/exercise 5 times a week.
22.   Start business for knitting/crochet/photographer
23.   Spend whole night at the beach under open sky. This is an awesome experience.
24.   Make a photo wall in my home.
25.   Get a different certification or degree.
26.   Learn a new skill.
27.   Adopt a child to provide all education.
28.   Build a temple. I want to build a temple; I will try my best for this. But practically thinking, if this is not possible, I will set an alternative for this as JivDaya forum. I will free up cows, birds that are taken to be killed.
29.   Go deep inside the sea/Bathe under Niagara/Skydiving.
30.   Go to Antartika, the last continent, and I know, this may not be possible so I will have it’s alternative goal set as well – Visit snow mountains at the place that I had not seen earlier and enjoy skiing.

I am starting a blog to track the progress. I will update here too. Whatever the percentage of success would be in this project, one thing is for sure, I won't be the same person I am today, on my 30th birthday. :)
All the best to me.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Jeene De...Mere iss Dil ko Jeene de

Opening eyes late in the morning and doing all timepass in the bed itself. Surfing all the news papers and then news channels too... No worries of anything, let it be cooking, milk, breakfast, drinking water refilling or just anything or anyone in the world.

As younger brother had done always in the past, to make me energetic and make me get up, he would start nice songs on the player. Ohh, but this time I hear, all the sad songs are lined up. Ahh, he is just sometimes listening to all these "Toda-Toda" - breakup songs.

After the dream version of "Naina lagiya baarisha - Tujhe bhula diya", we are already in the sky and flying somewhere and then suddenly, "Muskurata hua, gul khilata hua mera Yaar" and it makes remember a sweet smile of some loved one.

This is called Life and I am living it fully. Jeene De.. Is is dil ko jeene de..Jeene de.... Har pal ko jeene de...

Sunday, June 9, 2013

30 Before 30

As you all know, I am in my twenties right now. I have started a new project of "30 before 30 ".  I am creating a list of 30 things that I want to do before I hit 30. I will soon post the list. Right now, I am just too much excited while creating the list. But my confusion is that there are many things I wish to do before 30 and just selecting only 30 out of them is really very difficult task. Still, will do it... Stay tuned for the updates. :)

Tracking Expenses

As I have mentioned earlier, I generally hate tracking my expenses.

Now when I have my home and obviously the Home Loan, I want to pay it off as early as possible.

So I am starting my saving from counter 0. For this I am adapting all the "so-called" good habits that I was not able to while I didn't had so many responsibilities. Now, tracking is must. I always hated this habit of tracking as I always liked earning more than I spend. However, now with big home loan numbers, I realize sometimes it may not be possible to earn more, hence spending less becomes obvious choice.

I know, I spend on small things and these small things add up eventually.  Though I hate making compromises in things that gave me happiness and joy, I will try to act on things that I can work upon. To get my wealth built, I will need to  earn more than I spend and I need to spend less than I earn and I need to know what and where I am spending. I have recently started this. I am adding all expenses in my mobile application and I plan to analyze them periodically.

If you have any other suggestions, please share. I would also like to hear your story of tracking.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Sweet Dream Home.... or......just a Property.....?

Alright, so done... finally.... Lots of water under the bridge of time and lots of things to talk about. However, today I will be sharing the emotional investments, numbers, I will crunch sometime later.

As I have shared so many times and as everybody's life always does...
You get whatever you wish for... the only catch is you don't get it whenever you want it. Sometimes, it's too late that you don't have the feeling for the thing or event or even the person.

As everybody experiences, we grow older,  we get freedom but we lose our innocent childhood.

We might not be having lots of money to spend on with friends in the college, but the friends are there to die for each other. As we go ahead with life, we get money to spend over but friends gradually get apart.

Don't know why, but such random (and somebody may feel weired) thoughts are running in mind. The twinkles are not in the eyes. Anyways, I have become over-emotional these days. So, I will just forget everything.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

2013 Goals.....

I know, it's late but better late than never. Actually, I had my goals always in place, I had not just  written here. I am writing it them here, so that it will be easy to track down. Here are the detailed goals of this year I keep my eyes on. I tried to think about most of the important aspects. Few important among them are as follows.:


  •  Emergency Fund - The duration I was out from blogosphere, I realized the importance of Emergency Fund. Everything is well, this is very best scenrio but in real life the "Worst Case Scenarios" may happen and they certainly happen at some point of time. If we know this, we should be keeping our pocket full for all the emergencies. My focus this year will be having my emergency fund as 6 months of my monthly expenses. Which tools I will be using for this, I will elaborate sometime in future.

  • C/H Fund - If everything goes well as per my "Best Case Scenario", I plan to bring my car home from the showroom. If I couldn't do this, my backup option is I will put the saving in my Home fund.

  • Tax Saving - I definitely need to go beyond 1 lakh rupees investments in tax saving instruments. I would like to invest in tax saving instruments including PPF, ELSS, NSC and insurance schemes all up to Rs. 100000/-. I also would be using other things for tax saving. Later on this in future posts.

  •   Retirement Fund - Apart from my PF contribution, I will be investing in a good Mutual fund for retirement. The amount will be equal to 3 months of my monthly expenses.

  • Opportunities Fund - Well, this is fund again that one I will topup with most. I will be using the opportunities to invest in good shares, mutual funds and other instruments. It will have my one month monthly expense amount.

  •  Track my spending - The bad days and bad experiences in life, have made me follow the habit of tracking expenses. And I need to continue with that at-least for some time in future now. I don't personally feel it's helping me anyway in decreasing my expeses, rather it's just making my attitude worse but whatever.

  • Make Extra Income - Off course, whatever goals I have written above are just impossible to achieve in my full time job's paycheck. Hence, certainly I will have to make much more extra income. As usual, I will set up high goal, so that I will be able to achieve the one that I actually should. So, I will make extra income for my 6 months of monthly expense. I will be using various platforms for achieving this, details on this, in later posts.


  •  Certifications-  I have 3 certifications in my mind which I keep my eyes on, this year.  More on this, some time in future.

  • Walk in for job interviews - This keeps us updated and gives confidence. I want to be up to date in my field.

  •  Publish articles – I am planning to publish 12 articles this year in science magazines, local newspapers and magazines. I guess it will help.

  •  Publish articles online – I am planning to publish 12 articles online this year in different websites, blogs etc.

  •  Publish my first book – I have started with the manuscript of my first book. I wish to publish it this year. I have many ideas but first of all, I will finish with job in the hand. A very best luck to me for this. This book should also bring discipline in my writing.


  • For this blog - I need to start once again with this blog and increase the page views. I want my numbers back and I know, I can do that soon.

  • Food Blog : I have a food blog and I use social media for it. I would like to get more traffic for it. I would like to get a good theme and good number of subscribers and followers. At the end of this year, people should know me by that blog.


  • Music: Give more time to music this year and I have started implementing this. The way I found good was uploading my videos to youtube. I would like to perform at several places too. I have already posted one video in youtube. I am preparing for others in near future.

  • Photography: I have still not bought my first digital SLR camera. I will participate in 10 different photo competitions.

  • Health: Regular Yoga. Few aasanas I need to do daily. Eating right I have started again and will continue through out the year.

  • Hobby : I love to make best out of waste and I would like to make 12 art pieces at-least through out the year. I will be creating designs of 4 sarees using tatting, chrotia patterns. I will finish my jacket by knitting. Also, if you have observed, I have not kept any gift fund in finance section. My plan is I will be gifting my own hand made home made gifts. I have this new hobby now. Offcourse, I have done this only for my very own special ones. Let's see how much I am able to do for "others" too.

Time has already started.  Still, All the Best to me.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Happy Gudhi Padwa

It’s the beginning of the Marathi new year today, celebrated as Gudhi Padwa. It is said to be the day when the God Brahmha had created the universe. It is one of the 3 and half auspicious days in a year, where any beginning is supposed to be auspicious.

This day the Gudhi is  displayed in the households. More details can be found at

Friday, April 5, 2013

Kenny G’s The Moment and Musical Gifts

 My friend had gifted me the "Organized collection of my all-time favorite music since last several years" and I am re-discovering myself in many of those songs.
The below one makes me remember something, don't know what... may be some forgotten childhood memory ...

By the way, I have always liked this way of gifting, after photo-gifts.  If you want to gift something very special and personal to your special friend, you can consider getting the music. Needless to say, this more personal, less expensive and since you will be doing it yourself, it will have all your relationship smell in it. Just you have to do is, you know the “taste” of your friend, you can get her/his favorite items on a cd, gift wrap and deliver. The person will really feel very special.  Moreover, they will be his/her favorite songs he/she will be missing you each time she enjoys that music.

A Perfect Parting Gift for your team member in the office who is leaving and add a romantic touch in music and perfect romantic gift for your loved one too . J

Thursday, April 4, 2013

End of Life...

 I called my father to ask about a procedure in a government office. He was at a funeral. One  kid of our relative has done suicide since his exam paper was not as per his expectations. I was in thoughts.
Why do people end their lives?
Obviously one point is the lack of communication. People may not find somebody else to communicate and this lonely feeling may create the problem worse. Long back, when I used to stay with room-mates, one of my mates, was failed in her Post Graduation Examination. She was the first class holder throughout all her schooling and college life. However, somehow she failed in a subject while pursuing her Master’s degree. Her parents, kept on abusing and accusing her so much that she was just depressed for so long. She didn’t talk with them for many days. Here, she was the most hurt person. It was her career and the person who had only seen above 60% marks in all her life  in her report card, would definitely be broken by seeing a “F” in report card. In this scenario, her family should have understand her and motivate her for further studies. In such situation, somebody is with me and understands my situation, this feeling matters so much.  I was very new in the room, just a week old and hence we were not that much “friends” and my rummy didn’t listen to me at all. I got to know all this just because I was present when she got call from her mother once. Whenever I tried to talk to her regarding this, she changed the topic or just went away. Because of her parent’s wrong behavior she gave up, today also after years, she had not finished with her post-graduation.
  Other point may be lack of trust and the faith. Will the person I have, whom I can communicate to, able to understand my problem and it’s intensity? Most of the time, people find this difficult. I mean there are people with whom the person in bad situation can share the problem and thoughts but the person don’t have that trust or bond between them. I remember, my maid had told me once the incident. She had miscarriage with her second child. She was so depressed that she was not able to face her husband and her in-laws. She lied to them for many days. Well, whatever may be the other things, but point was she was the person who was most hurt by her miscarriage… physically and mentally. But according to her there was nobody who would understand her, not even her husband, with whom, she came to this new family.
Well, today she is happy with her husband and her only daughter, staying away with her in-laws. She said, now her husband could understand her and her situation since he is independent person with independent identity.  They have to do lots of work, she has to do these house hold chores at others house to earn extra income, which prior she didn’t had to. But now she has that bond of trust in her family, even with her in-laws who visit her home occasionally. 
Third point may be the combination of both of above. First may be I don’t think I have somebody I can talk to and others who I have, they don’t understand me.  This feeling may lead to worst results if not handled correctly on time. Some time back, my co-worker ended her life by a suicide. I think, this may be the case with her.  She was friendly with people but never shared her sorrows. We have to understand first that Life is very beautiful, but most of the times we are so much into our problems in the life that we can’t see the happiness and joyous part of the life. I had called my mother when I was upset about my co-workers incident. She motivated me as she does always. But now, problem is my mother keeps me saying, “Beta, don’t take tension, don’t be stressed out”, even if I tell her, I have some data to be presented in meeting at work place, I will talk to her later. I yell at her, I am not stressing out, I know, everything will be fine. I later realize, all this is because she is so much worried about me after hearing my co-workers incident. I needed to convince her. I told mother, Mother don’t worry, I will never ever thought of suicide, no matter how many problems I may have in life. I am just not that type of person. I Love my life and I know, life has a lots of things to give back to me. You know Mummy, Dudh fatne se wo log ghabra jaate hai, jinhe Paneer banana nahi aata. ( Those people gets afraid in life, after spoiling milk, who don’t know, how to make Paneer out of it). And Mummy, I know, how to make Panneer.  :) My mother laughed. Finally, she was convinced. 

We should value our life, we should enjoy life, in all its forms. If I am in difficult situation now, that's not the end, just enjoy the phase. Later we will be remembering the phase with a smiling face. We should always have people to whom we talk to, share things.  Sometimes, we should also have backup of them. If I can't talk this problem with my mother, I should have some friend to talk to and such like that. Most of the times, we get solutions to the problems only by talking and sharing. Again, as I have told earlier, we can share happy things with anybody, even a stranger but to share a problem we need our very own somebody special. So... keep making special people special... :)

Monday, April 1, 2013

My Cable Operator s****....

Some time back,  the Government of India had passed an ordinance for the mandatory digitization of the Cable Service for the televisions. As per this ordinance, Digital Addressable System has become mandatory. This is for empowering consumers for quality and better service. Viewers will be able to access digital services only through a Set Top Box.

The implementation of this process of digitization has started in step by step manner, phase wise. The second phase has started today. As per it television sets have stopped working in the mentioned cities without set top boxes.

Now, coming back to my problem. Initially, I had Airtel Set Top Box installed. However, I deactivated the service after few bad customer service experiences. Last month I did some research for new Set Top Box and I zeroed on "Hathway". But unfortunately, the customer care representative told me that its service was not available in my area. I didn't like Tata Sky and Airtel was a strict no for me.  I planned to try the set top box my cable operator was providing me. I needed to submit some form n documents and he was supposed to come and do the installation of the box. When I called him on weekend, he told me in a very soft voice that he would reach within an hour for installation. However, I wasted my time (well not exactly wasted, I was doing other chores) waiting for the person to come and he didn't show up. I had planned lot of other things to do that day. When I called him again, he started yelling at me that why I didn't call him earlier in the month. Now, when only 2 days were left for 1st April, he has lots of tasks to do. Hell.... when that person spoke to me like that, I just lost my temper.  He had already deactivated the cable service.... before 2 days of the actual date announced by Government of India. Well, in the end he said, he will install the box on Monday. I had read about the 48 hours Blackout that was planned in Delhi by local cable operators. I am not sure, if it was followed at my place as well. But I didn't like my cable operator's service.

It's not like I am very much fond of television, rather it's the opposite. I am not a television person. But sometimes you just want television to be on and you to drown in your thoughts or may be you want to sleep sound by keeping television on. It was just one of those days for me and my television was off.

Anyways, I am adding that person to my list of the people/services to whom I have planned/imagined to sue some day in my life... :)

More details for digitization can be found at

Friday, March 29, 2013

When a Loved One is on Vacation....

When we are enjoying somewhere out with our friends, life is like this for us..

However, for our loved one who is waiting eagerly at home for us to come back, the life may be like this....

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Happy Holi

Once again, it's the time for colorful festival... Celebrating colors and joys of life..
As per Indian traditions, after burning all the impurities and bad things in a big fire which is called as Holika, next morning is the time for playing colors... All the people apply color to their near and dear ones. This is the time when even enemies are said to forget the bad past and starts with new beginning. :)

At my mother's place, I remember since my child hood, we all the people in the neighborhood used to play colors and water for hours... and then my mother used to host a party at our place where everybody used to be welcomed with hot pakodas and sweet gulab jamuns or some such snacks made by my mother. My mother was so enthusiastic for Holi... even more than me she used to play, gather all the women in society, took everybody out of home to play and have fun with colors. 

लाल रंग आपके गालों के लिए. .   Red color for your cheeks... 
काला रंग आपके बालों के लिए. . Black color for your hair...
 नीला रंग आपकी आँखों के लिए. . Blue color for your eyes...
 पीला रंग आपके हाथों के लिए. .  Yellow color for your hands... 
गुलाबी रंग आपके सपनों के लिए. . Pink color for your dreams... 
 सफ़ेद रंग आपके मन के लिए. . White color for your heart...
 हरा रंग आपके जीवन के लिए. . Green color for your life....

होली के इन  सात रंगों के साथ. .आपको रंग भरी शुभकामनाएँ।  

Happy Holi !

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

पुनरादि - The Fresh Beginning

Once again, I am back for a fresh beginning. Lots of water of my life has passed under the bridge of time in this break time. You will come to know gradually. 

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