Saturday, November 18, 2017

Someone's Loss


Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Happiness is ..... Your son able to button-up his shirt for first time....

I am very busy and I already have several blog posts ideas and drafts piling... But still posting this since I wanted to cherish the moment....
So before heading to couple of back-to-back meetings, to do quick check on my son, I called home. My son was actually waiting for my call and wanted to talk to me.... because....in his words..... "Mumma.... I have button-up my shirt....with my own hand...." Oh God. He could button-down his shirt but he couldn't button up till now. He was sounding so happy. Although it had taken half an hour to button up but he didn't give up and succeeded. He got the logic of how to button-up.
I was like... how fast he is growing... I remember the first time I saw him when he was born...still connected with my body...tiny... red.... and my silly reaction as well...  :)
 
He is growing so fast... He walks, runs, jumps but he keeps on insisting to carry him while climbing stairs. Many times when I already  have luggage with me, I ask him to walk and how "Good Boys" walk by themselves.... He sometimes listen and sometimes don't... and I have to carry him with kilos of other stuff with me... But then I see him when I drop him school, he walks on his own carrying his school bag, water bag and tiffin etc. Sometimes, I do feel myself that he should ask me to take him in my arms and carry him and he don't... I realize he is seriously growing...
 
You know similar happens while breast feeding. You are awake whole night in initial months for breast feeding, then throughout days, its only as per baby needs and you feel sometimes like you are just milk making machine or what... and God save you from the embracement of leaking breasts at workplace... Then you and baby gets used to it... and months, years pass by and then everybody keeps advising you to stop breastfeeding now. As a mother and baby you both are comfortable now... baby is eating other food items as well... Because of pressure from "" people you keep telling baby about other food items. And suddenly one day...there is no requirement for breast feeding from baby. And ta-da... you realize that it's over... You won't be breastfeeding your baby whole life now... That was it... The holy feeling you were having while breastfeeding won't be there now... It's all gone.. over...
 
While I am writing this, I understand the same thing is going to happen for bathroom things as well. I do bathe him, do his toilet things. But how many days... one day, he will do all these on his own... At present, while he is doing his job in toilet, he keeps me telling... 'Mumma, I want to grow old... but even if I grow old, I am not going to wash up myself in bathroom... You only do it..."  I just smile... realizing... this is only for few days... I know in few years, when he will be a teenager, he won't even let me check his body, even if there is some injury.
 
You know what is satisfying at the moment... the present moment I am enjoying because as I am writing this post, my baby is on my laps... sleeping.... yeah... I know... just little time... 
 
Had read somewhere...
 
Daudne do khule Maidanome Nanhe kadmonko Saahab,
Zindagi bahut bhagati hai, Bachpan gujar jaane ke baad..
 
 
Happy Children's Day World... If you have children, make most of each moment since they won't be of this age again.... If you don't have children... be with those where you can open up and  let your inner child be out.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

So Many Sleepless Nights


just for that one Smile on lips....
It's like trekking the mountain up... Just for that one moment of looking down from the top....
All the Best Baby.... I am all with You.... Let's do it....

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Tera na hona jaane....

It seems this 10 years Celebration of Jab We Met is going to stay for sometime....
Found this post today.

https://www.popxo.com/2017/10/things-we-learnt-from-jab-we-met/

Few things in the post are really motivating.  Huhun....

Kya Fikar hai Tumhe Zamaane....

After a long day, tired and hungry (though there were several options available to eat but couldn't eat), I was headed for home. As already stated, last few months music has also left me alone so there is no music with me and I am not at all listening to music (except for the times when I am writing these music posts). So basically tired, sad with bad face in traffic jam... Saw two people on a motorbike on traffic signal....After staring for few moments... heart sang this....
Duniya me chalo Akele... Apne ho Armaan....
Apne hisse ki ho dharti... Apna ho Aasmaan....

Seriously? This song? Where did this come from? This 90's pop song was one of my songs.... On this "Taaa TaraRira Rara... TaraRira Rara... TaraRira Ree RaaRaaa..." I have jumped on bed so many times after my school/college while home alone. But... I had not heard this song in years... yes... years... where this came from? You know what... I think our subconscious mind is way better than Google... In Google you have to specify what you want to search for.... But subconscious mind... it automatically realizes what you want and it then searches it and presents too... :)



Vow..... I love those shirts, jackets and sunglasses... I want those.... I mean... seriously... my shopping is pending since months. I have created shopping list since last few months but actually I am not at all in mood of shopping. In fact, I went for shopping for at-least 8-10 times but guess what, I bought nothing. Once I just met a friend whom I had called for shopping and just kept chatting instead of shopping, later I went alone to several places... I actually did lots of window shopping but bought NOTHING. Finally last few days when I couldn't find time for shopping, I ordered from Amazon, I did payment as well and then on Confirm screen, I didn't confirm. Hey do you know that, in such cases, payment is reversed in one day and the items again go back to your shopping cart. So again not done... I actually NEED several things... you know... shirts, jackets, lip colors, bracelets and shoes... God... I am having just 3 pairs of formal shoes.... I have so many colors in trousers and for them have only 3 pairs of formal shoes... (As usual, my demands are like these only... unique and which needs lots of searching.... where I am gonna find out dark tomato red formal shoes or violet colored formal shoes.... But now I wish to I want them... and definitely I will find one day....) . I want to do shopping for my birthday as well and I have decided to buy something big for myself this time... and then I have several gift cards as well... Oh My... I have a gift card since months that I have not even opened it... You know... Good Memories and Feelings... that don't even want to spend it...... I will have to check it first... Is it even valid or not now... God that was good amount...

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Jab We Met and Believe

Spending hours browsing and see what I got.....
https://www.popxo.com/2017/10/jab-we-met-completing-ten-years/

Seriously? Positive but Dark Tunnel.... Light.... losing a part whose everyone was fond of.... What's going on?

It's ending with Believe.... Believe.... Yes....

Don't give up on Faith.... Aditya will come...😁

Just feeling low.... Nothing else.... Will be fine before Sunshine

Life is going through a dark tunnel at the moment... Frankly speaking I see no light anywhere. But I have accepted that one day there will be sun..... I know everything happens for good, it's just I am not able to cope.  I know it's just that am feeling weakest at the moment. I am just hiding may be.... Not facing anyone.... Maybe I don't want to face the fact which my heart had accepted may be.... May be everything was meant to be like this only.... It took me so long to find myself again.... But you know what, a part of me is lost again.... And that was major part... I don't think recovery is easy.... Oh God.... I don't want to write negative but I need to open up somewhere.  The way I stay calm, cool and quite in storm....others want me to cry... which obviously I don't.... But you know what... I realise that I am faking.... everything may be.... I don't know.... Had I asked too much, God?
Okay....fine....

It's alright. I am fine and I know I am the Queen who will walk with head high up... Not everything happens as we want it to be... But whatever happens that's for our best.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Happy Dipawali....

Just like last year, this year too I was not in mood of Diwali till this morning. Same reason all alone at Diwali and then you know many thoughts come in such time...  This is not what my heart wishes for and blah blah... So anyway, last few days I was in this sad mood and that too without any reason. You know everything was good around me... just I was not me...I was really trying hard to cheer me up. I was analyzing myself and my behavior to see what can lift me up.  I was in good place actually... got couple of big opportunities at work that I never had before... and I did quite well too... I went to salon to pamper myself... taken initiatives for Diwali celebrations events for my team and couple of other teams at my work... (Seriously? I was not in mood to celebrate Diwali myself and still I managed to get team-members to celebrate events. I actually wanted to start off with these events and by God's Grace it was not so bad.) I just kept sleeping all those days. I also indulged in junk food... But nothing lifted me up...

Today the main day of Diwali, I had participated in an event organized in the city and it suddenly cheered me up. I was happy. Met so many people and once again I realized that I can enjoy with any one... I don't feel awkward around strangers... not at all...rather looking at history, my fun times are with strangers mostly... (I did ask my friends to join me for this event... But you know everyone was busy and couldn't spare few hours... Anyway... and by the way... I met a man and lady at the event who actually went to Leh-Ladakh and Bhootan in last couple of months on their bikes... Oh my... that's one of my dreams... He too understood that I was different and I will definitely do it sometime. He asked me to join his group as well... Okay... let me calculate... I need a Royal bike then... Huhu... let's plan something to save for this bike now...

Okay so Diwali started for me... went to all holy places... received compliments as well... One of the regular visitor actually told me... "I didn't recognize you at first... You are the one who borrow scarf/dupatta to enter inside the temple, right? You look nice." I even got a chance to see my son for a minute. But obviously, when we parted I was sad again.


To make things good, I just went out for ride at the noon. You know my old theory of "when you are in love, you don't feel sun... all you feel is moon and stars and cool weather..." So being deeply in my self-love, I actually rode quite a far distance... Okay here is something that I did before couple of days. I actually purchased few packets of several kgs of Jowar and I was keeping couple of packets with me always. I wanted to donate them to the needy persons and I was searching for those people while riding. (I actually think now, such things just happen by default. Earlier when I would do such things, my family members would be surprised. Now they are also aware that I keep doing such things so they ignore when I bring home such things. So last week I had bought 150 kgs of grains for donating... you see Diwali and then my birthday is also coming up so wanted to celebrate.) Thankfully met a lady who was pregnant and with her daughter. I talked to her and she was hesitant at first but later she opened up her heart. She was the one whom I gave today's packets. She was happy and so was her daughter. While I was talking to her, a owner of a shop and may be his manager were searching for dogs. They had done Pooja in their shop and the rest of the food they wanted to give to dogs since they wanted to close the shop. Dear God.... Please give me strength and will to help the needy and under privileged always. I know, you give to people so that they can help who don't receive it. 

I am Happy. I am me now... Happy Diwali World... May this Diwali brings you Happiness, Love, Health, Wealth and lots of Fun...

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Bade Joroki aaj Barsaat hai....

Tera Naam Maine Liya hai Yahan...
Muze Yaad Tune Kiya hai Wahan....
Bade joro ki aaj Barsaat hai.....
 

Friday, October 6, 2017

Follow Your Inner Moonlight, don't hide Madness.... Be YOU....



As mentioned already many times, my dreams have some power. They give me hints of future. Then my subconscious mind is able to solve those problems in my dreams which I am facing in reality. So kind of I am working even when I am sleeping.  And sometimes I see just a movie dream...
 You know....whole full fledged whole drama included lovestory with happy ending. Anyway, so out of nowhere this day started with such a lovely and not only lovely but... I don't know I don't have words... dream. It actually solved a real world problem and solution was something that I could never have thought of. 

I just wanted to dance like a kid or a teenager... And I remembered this song....yep....cheesy cheesy dreamy dreamy world song.... 



Good Morning World.... I am overloaded at work... need to find solutions to many problems which were never faced before... But I am happy.... My problems are bigger now.... I have grown.... I am more powerful..... And now this dream...it had given me strength. You too have strengthful, powerful, lovely day.
 

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